Take Harry and Go
by valjeanbread
Summary: AU. Harry looked up at his mother with curious green eyes. She was crying, mourning the undeniable death of her husband. She grabbed Harry and with a loud crack, was gone. A terrible scream of anger echoed through the house as Lord Voldemort reached Harry's empty bedroom.
1. Chapter 1

******A/N: I**'**d like to address some things. First of all, the following pairings will be involved in the story: Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks, Neville Longbottom and Ginny Weasley, and Hermione Granger and Harry Potter. Originally, I had thought of putting Remus with Lily (my OTP), but I always prefer that ship to be unrequited. There will be some Lily/Remus but not much, if you squint it's definitely onesided. Not to mention, I don't mind writing Remus going through emotional torment. This story is going to remain pretty canon aside from the obvious fact that Lily is alive and Sirius is not in Azkaban. I am not going to follow canon exactly, I'm going to take some creative liberties here and there. _THERE WILL BE CHARACTER DEATH._** It helps further the plot, no matter how much it pains me to write (lol).** Thank you for all the reviews that have been given on this story, I do appreciate them and take your advice to heart. I will make errors, though, as I am writing this for fun and not really giving it my full attention as if it was a college essay. And now, let us journey on into Harry's revised journey.**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

* * *

**Chapter One**

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him!" James Potter shouted as the front door burst open and a person in a black cloak seemingly glided into the cottage. Lily scrambled up the stairs like the Devil himself was chasing her, Lord Voldemort was almost the same thing. She grabbed her wand from the landing, noticing James' wand rested beside hers. She froze for a moment; her husband was facing the most powerful Dark wizard alone, without a wand. She thought about running downstairs and handing James his wand. Maybe the two of them would be able to defeat Voldemort. And then the memory of people he had killed came to her mind, there would be no hope for them. If she didn't hurry, there would be no hope for her or Harry.

Harry looked up at his mother with curious green eyes. She was crying, mourning the undeniable death of her husband. She grabbed Harry, and with a loud crack, was gone. A terrible scream of anger echoed through the house as Lord Voldemort reached Harry's empty bedroom. Green light shot from his wand and hit a curious cat who had peered its head around the corner. Voldemort destroyed most of the bedroom before inhaling deeply. _I will find him, there is no doubt of that. That foolish mudblood has nowhere to go. I will go to Wormtail and inquire about their friends. I will then hunt every friend down and kill them until I find her and the boy. With that, I shall defeat death. _

He too disapparated. Ministry officials arrived on the scene and beheld a smoking cottage. Mad Eye Moody was the first to enter, his wand drawn. He issued a loud curse as he saw young James Potter's body on the floor. The other Aurors and officials searched the building and only found a dead cat and a destroyed bedroom.

"It was him, alright," Mad Eye growled, his recently acquired blue eye whizzing in its socket. "But, there's hope. He intended to kill the Potters. But Lily and the child aren't here. They escaped."

The mood lightened with that assessment. James Potter's body was collected as well as evidence. Though there was none, Mad Eye insisted on an hour long search for some. Mad Eye looked up at the sky.

"Wherever you are, Lily. I hope you're maintaining constant vigilance."

* * *

"Merlin!" Remus Lupin kicked the sheets off of his bed as there was a loud crack in his bedroom. Lily Evans collapsed to her knees, sobbing. Remus sprung out of bed, rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn't still dreaming.

"Lily?" He noticed the bundle of blankets in her arm and a tiny hand that was sticking out of the folds. He knelt beside her, pulling her into his arms while she cried.

"Lily, where is James? Why are you here?"

At the mention of James, she began to sob louder. Remus had no other option but to rock her in his arms until she fell silent. Lupin shifted slightly, noting that she was asleep. He picked his wand up off of the bedside table and levitated Lily onto his bed. _Lily Evans, on your bed. Something you always wanted. _He pushed that thought aside shuddering slightly. He found his thoughts became inappropriate as he neared the full moon. He looked down at Harry who was asleep. Exhaling deeply, Remus pushed his hands through his hair. He had no idea what had happened. He knew that Lily would never go anywhere without James. _Unless James is dead. _The nasty voice sprang up in the back of his mind again.

He quickly walked over to his owl and scribbled a note to Dumbledore.

_**AL,**_

_**FLOWER AND PETAL HERE. DON'T KNOW WHY. PRONGS IS MISSING. FIND ME AT THE USUAL PLACE AND QUICK.**_

_**MOONY.**_

Looking down at the note, he put himself in an outsider's shoes. If this note was to be intercepted, would they be able to realize he was talking about Lily and Harry Potter staying at his home? He didn't think so. Luckily this particular cottage wasn't that far from Hogwarts, about an hour away. An answer would be given soon. He stood at the window and watched his owl become a speck in the night sky before turning around and facing the problem at hand. If they were here, Lord Voldemort was probably after them. Remus would need to keep guard and put more protective spells over his cottage if they were to stay alive.

Standing before the bed, Remus murmured charm after charm, searching his mind for any enchantments that could protect them. Just as he was about to put an anti-apparation spell as a last resort, Albus Dumbledore appeared before him.

"Hold off on that one for now Remus, until I'm gone."

Remus pointed his wand at Dumbledore, "Not until I prove that you are the real Albus Dumbledore."

"That's a very good idea Remus," Albus said calmly, stroking his beard.

Remus' mind was blank for a question to ask Dumbledore. "Alright, what did Albus Dumbledore do to convince my parents to let me go to Hogwarts."

Dumbledore smiled despite the situation, "Well. At first, your parents wouldn't even let me into your house. I apparated into the sitting room where you were and you and I began a game of Gobstones and ate some crumpets. After that, your parents decided to listen to me."

Remus lowered his wand and finally allowed his muscles to relax. Dumbledore was here now, and he would be able to fend off any Dark Wizard that came.

"Remus, it might be best for you to just sit down."

Lupin sat in the chair he had placed beside his bed before looking at Dumbledore expectantly.

"James Potter is dead. Sirius Black was the Secret Keeper for the cottage and gave away their location to Lord Voldemort-."

"No!" Remus bolted out of his chair, "Sirius wouldn't do that. He loved James and Lily, he wouldn't betray them like that."

Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes peered at him over the rim of his half-moon spectacles.

"Sorry Profess- Albus." Lupin spoke sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"To get the full story, we will need to hear from Lily. Is Harry okay?"

"Yes, I made sure he was unharmed, the two of them are asleep." Remus pointed to them over his shoulder jerkily.

Dumbledore strode over to the chair that Remus had jumped out of and pulled it to the bed. He sat down beside Lily and spoke softly, "Lily?"

Lily stirred slowly, her green eyes blinking open and looking up at Dumbledore, "Thank Merlin you're here." Her voice was so quiet that Remus had to strain to hear it.

"Lily, I need to know what happened."

"I don't want… to talk about it…." She spoke haltingly, tears filling her eyes again.

"I have experience in these matters Lily, and though it seems the opposite, talking about it will ease the pain faster than keeping it inside."

Lily took a deep breath and pulled Harry into her arms before speaking. Her eyes weren't on Dumbledore, they were locked on Remus. "I'm so sorry they accused you of being the traitor, Remus. I would never had guessed that Peter-."

"Peter Pettigrew?" Dumbledore inquired sharply, "Peter Pettigrew was the Secret Keeper?"

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, "it was Sirius and James' idea. They thought Sirius would be too obvious and Peter was always so willing. Now it's obvious why." She took a deep breath before continuing, "I was with James in the sitting room, but I was about to go upstairs to check on Harry. The door opened and I heard James say 'Lily, take Harry and go! It's him.' I ran up the stairs and grabbed my wand and James' was next to it. How foolish of us, the most powerful Dark wizard in the world was after us and we didn't keep our wands on us at all times… I thought that I should go down and give James a fighting chance. I couldn't leave Harry though… If James and I had been killed, he would have killed Harry. So I grabbed Harry and apparated to Remus' favorite cottage and hoped he would be here."

Remus was crying, James was dead and Peter had betrayed them all. _This wouldn't have happened if you had just kept to yourself at Hogwarts. You brought this upon the world, you despicable piece of human garba-._

"Remus, are you alright?" His thoughts were interrupted by Dumbledore's voice, "You've gone quite white. Perhaps you should sit down."

There was a loud crack and Sirius Black slammed Remus into the wall, staring into his eyes. Remus stared back into the dark eyes filled with grief, anger, and betrayal.

"You turned Peter! This is all your fault!" To drive the point home, he slammed Remus into the wall with each word.

Sirius was thrown back, Dumbledore was standing with his wand drawn looking more angry than Remus had ever seen in his entire life. The world seemed to get hazy and all he could hear was a loud buzzing in his ears. He was aware of a warm liquid traveling down the back of his head to his neck.

"Sirius! The Marauders were betrayed tonight but not by Remus Lupin. Peter Pettigrew turned to Voldemort on his own accord, think of what you are saying! Remus had no idea that you had switched the Secret Keeper to Peter."

Dumbledore hurried over to Lupin and lifted his chin, looking into his unfocused eyes. Sirius hesitantly joined him, noticing the blood on the bricks from where Remus' head had hit the wall.

"Guess I hit you a bit hard, didn't I Moony?" Remus returned the grin that Sirius was giving him.

"Doesn't matter. I would've done the same." Sirius pulled him to his feet and embraced him. They all then turned their attention to Lily and Harry. Lily had been silent during the incident, but more tears ran down her cheeks.

"The safest place for us to go right now is Hogwarts. Remus also needs to see Madame Pomfrey" Dumbledore placed his hand on Lily who was holding Harry and wrapped his other arm around Remus and Sirius.

"No one can apparate inside of Hogwarts," Remus slurred.

"Ah, but Remus. I'm not your typical wizard, am I?"

With that, the cottage was empty.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Please take the time to review this story.**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Remus woke in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts, the back of his head smarted a bit. He had spent many evenings in this hall, after rough full moons. He sat up in a panic, remembering the circumstances in which he had arrived.

"Remus, please, relax." Dumbledore's voice greeted him as he, Lily, Sirius, and Harry entered the Wing. Lupin settled back onto the pillows behind him, his scarred chest still heaving slightly. They gathered around his bed in chairs, Lily pressed a soft hand against Remus' cheek, her green eyes radiating gratefulness.

"We are still trying to come up with a solution to this problem. I am weary to use the Fidelius Charm again, given what happened last time."

"I want to find Pettigrew," Sirius said sharply, "I want to find Pettigrew and skin him and use his tail as a -."

"I am not going to allow you to kill Pettigrew. If you are going to find him, then you have to promise not to kill him. If I allow you to go find him, you must promise to bring him to the Hog's Head inn. We will get his confession and he will go to Azkaban for murder. That is a fate worse than death."

Sirius nodded, "I'll bring him in, Albus."

"Very well, then you may go, but not until we figure out what to do with Lily and Harry."

"I'll look after them," Remus spoke up, "I'll protect them. We just need to find a place to stay. Then, Albus, you can put up all the protective enchantments you know and we will be safe."

Dumbledore looked at him silently, as if appraising his value against Sirius'.

"That's what we shall do then. We shall just have to find a place where you can undergo your transformations safely. You shall care for Harry until he reaches Hogwarts age. By that time, I will come to collect him and you will only have Lily to look after."

_Maybe she will fall in love with you. _He was disgusted with himself, how could he allow himself to even tell her of his feelings when she had been so in love with James.

"Yes, that is a good idea. I promise to protect them both."

Albus nodded, "In the meantime you shall all have to stay here. I have to find the perfect place for you to stay. Sirius, you may begin the hunt tomorrow. Remus, you are free to leave the Hospital Wing when you feel up to it. Someone wishes to see you, Lily. Remus, I want you to oversee this meeting and make sure nothing odd happens. It will take place in the Great Hall at half past one."

With this cryptic message, Dumbledore bade them good day and left the Hospital Wing.

Sirius cleared his throat, "I'm sorry I accused you Moony-."

Remus put his hands up, stopping him.

"You had every right to, Sirius. I'm nothing but a shifty werewolf-."

"No," Lily and Sirius said at the same time.

"You are a brother to me," said Sirius firmly, "I wouldn't trade you for the world. James would say the same thing. I bet right now… I bet that he is the most thankful friend in the world that you are going to look after Harry and Lily." Sirius clapped him on the back before hugging Lily.

"You keep in touch with me?"

"Of course," Remus and Lily said in unison. Sirius kissed Harry on the forehead before exiting the Hospital Wing.

"I do hope he will be alright," Lily murmured. Remus got out of the bed with a grimace, seeing that Dumbledore had placed a new set of black robes on the nightstand.

"You and I know Sirius. He will listen to Dumbledore and do as he said. Peter will get what he deserves. Lily…" He trailed off, "Lily I promise I won't try to replace James as Harry's father. I won't, I don't-."

Lily looked up at him, her emerald eyes watering again. "Remus, Harry will need a father figure. You will be living with us. I don't expect you to replace James as Harry's father, Harry will know that his father is dead. But I know that you will take care of us just as well as James would have."

With that, she drew the curtains around the bed and gave him privacy to change. While he was alone, he covered his face with his hands. He felt like the world was slipping from his grip. The fate of Lily and Harry rested on him; he would need to devote his life to them. He would never try to replace James as Harry's father. In fact, he would make it a point to find all the pictures he had of James so that Harry would have an image to associate his father with.

He pulled on the robes slowly, his body was still sore from where Sirius had attacked him. He could see Lily's silhouette outside of the curtain and wondered who they would be meeting with. Pulling the curtains aside, he followed Lily to the Great Hall.

* * *

They sat in silence for an hour, waiting for their guest to arrive.

Remus Lupin jumped to his feet, his wand drawn and eyes wide with fury.

"YOU!" He bellowed as Severus Snape came into view. Snape was white faced, but he did not reach for his wand.

"Lily," he exhaled sharply before hugging Lily tightly. Remus was dumbfounded, his wand still pointed where Snape had been a minute ago.

"Get off of me!" Lily cried out in rage. Lupin grabbed at Snape's black robes and pulled him off of Lily. Lily screamed as she saw something on the inside of his arm.

"Lily, please, listen I can explain!"

Remus was still holding him back as he spoke, "Lily I joined the Death Eaters, it's true. But I never wanted you to die, or Potter-." Remus roared in rage and shoved him against the wall.

"His name is James Potter and he is dead because of people like you!" Without realizing it, his wand had come up under Snape's chin. _Kill him_, the voice in the back of his mind growled. _Kill him. He is going to give this information to Voldemort. Kill him and Lily will be safe._

"Rem," Lily said softly. He felt her hand on his back and his wand lowered. He narrowed his eyes at Snape.

"His name is- was James."

He lowered Snape to the floor, his chest still heaving and thoughts of murder fresh in his mind.

"Lily. I promise I will do everything in my power to protect you and the boy. Even if it means giving the Dark Lord false information. I promise, you will never have to fear him again."

"Why, Sev?" Lily's face was curious, her hand still on Remus' back.

"Because I was wrong. I was wrong to call you what I called you. I was wrong to do anything to lose you as a friend. I miss you so much Lily and I can't stand the thought of you dying. You are more important to me than I am to myself. Professor Dumbledore has agreed with my plan and I have promised to also protect the boy that the Dark Lord goes after next-."

"Voldemort is going after another boy?" Remus closed his eyes, "Merlin, no…"

"I will keep you safe Lily, and so will Lupin. Just… I wanted to meet with you to ask if you could ever forgive me."

Lily removed her hand from Remus' back and handed him Harry. Lupin watched as she embraced Snape, jealousy bubbling up in his chest.

"Thank you." Snape wiped his eyes briefly and when they broke apart, he looked like a new man. He got to his feet and shook Lupin's hand.

"I must go now, back to the Dark Lord. Thank you both for seeing me." He looked back down at Lily and spoke softly, "I am so sorry about James."

She nodded but she was crying again. Lupin sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms. The two of them watched as Snape left the Great Hall.


	3. Chapter 3

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

The full moon passed quietly, given that Remus was able to use the Shrieking Shack. Lily had been staying in her room but he didn't blame her. School was in session and he could hear students passing his room every morning. He brought Lily and Harry food from the Great Hall every day. He wished with all his heart that he could go back to when he had been attending Hogwarts. Life had been a lot simpler.

"Do you think James would have survived if he had had a wand?" Lily asked him as he set her plate of dinner down on the table in her room. Remus froze up temporarily, he had been afraid of this question. He sat down at the third chair at the table after he had put Harry into his high chair. Feeding Harry was an automatic instinct; he did it so that Lily could focus on herself.

"I don't think so Lily. Voldemort killed many other wizards who had wands. James was skilled, yes. But I don't think he could have survived against him. The only wizard I think that has a fighting chance against him is Dumbledore."

Lily nodded and ate her roast chicken, which Remus had remembered was her favorite meal. "I'm glad you had been at that cottage Remus."

He smiled slightly, "I was actually going to leave the following morning. I had stayed there for about a month and I figured it was time to move south. I've never been to a beach, you see. So I thought maybe I would find an empty beach and have some time to myself on it. I don't particularly like showing my skin because of the scars."

She set her fork down and frowned at him, "Remus your scars are nothing to be ashamed of. Every scar on your body proves that you are not the monster that people make werewolves out to be. Each scar could be a scar on someone else's body. But it's on yours."

"Mumma!" Harry clapped his hands and Remus and Lily looked at him in shock.

"Is that his first word?" Remus whispered.

"Oh Harry you wonderful boy!" Lily pulled him out of his high chair, "Who's a smart boy? You are. Oh Harry…"

Remus quickly scraped his plate clean and intended to leave Lily to treasure this moment without him in it.

"Remus, I have a favor to ask you?"

He turned around to face the love of his life, "What can I do for you Lils?"

"Harry's baby book is on my bedside dresser at home… I don't think I can ever go in there again but do you think you can go get it? It has a place for a first word. I want to write it down. Also, James wrote in it… It would be good for Harry."

Remus nodded and smiled, "Yes, I'll go get it now."

He left the room and hurried down the dark corridor to the gargoyles in front of Dumbledore's office.

"Sherbert lemon."

He knocked on the heavy door and heard Dumbledore tell him to come in.

Lupin lingered at the front door, seeing Cornelius Fudge sitting at Dumbledore's desk. Fudge had recently written a scathing editorial for the _Daily Prophet _for increased anti-werewolf legislation. The man was definitely making his way up the ladder at the Ministry. Remus hoped he wouldn't become Minister of Magic.

"Remus, come in my good man," Dumbledore said cheerfully.

"Sorry Albus, I was just telling you I have to go get something from the house for a friend."

Dumbledore nodded knowingly, "You'll need a cloak, its cold out. Borrow mine. Works best when you're down by Hogsmede though." He handed Lupin a cloak that had a vaguely silver gleam. He recognized it instantly; it was James' invisibility cloak.

"Off you trot then."

"Thank you sir. Good night Mr. Fudge." Remus nodded respectfully to the man in the bowler hat before leaving the office. He pulled the cloak over himself like he had so often as a boy. Walking down the corridors invisible brought back memories of the countless pranks he and the Marauders had committed while at Hogwarts. He made his way to Hogsmede, passing by Hagrid's lit cabin. He paused for a moment, wondering if he ought to go inside and have a cup of tea with him. He then remembered the slight urgency in which Lily had conveyed what she wanted. And it was urgent. He didn't even know if the furniture would still be in the cottage.

* * *

Godric's Hollow seemed like an empty village when Remus arrived. Lights were off and the village seemed eerie. At the end of the high street, he could see a well-cared for cottage with a horrible scar. The upper right of the building had been blown out. He carefully made his way up to it. He shuddered as he entered the home, the furniture luckily hadn't been removed yet. A flag stuck up in the carpet, presumably marking where James Potter's body had been. He gritted his teeth, forcing himself not to look at the flag. His body suddenly became cold and he drew his wand. He didn't know if Voldemort himself could be waiting in the home. Thankful for the invisibility cloak, he made his way upstairs. He assumed that Lily would have had their room right next to Harry's, and he was right. He opened the dresser beside the bed and found a gaudily colored book that said _Harry's Baby Book _on the front. The cover picture was of James, Lily, and Harry.

He tucked the book under his arm and saw Lily and James' wedding photo. He brought that along too, thinking that Lily probably hadn't had the time to pick up photos. He spent the next ten minutes collecting various pictures, finding a box to put everything in. When he felt satisfied, he disapparated.

* * *

"Alright there, Remus?" Aberforth put a hand on his shoulder to steady him, the cloak falling to the box.

"Could do with a firewhiskey, actually."

"Having a rough time then?" Aberforth's gruff voice enquired as he handed Lupin the shot of firewhiskey. His brown eyes shut as he downed the whiskey in one gulp.

"You could say that," he gasped out, setting the glass down hard on the bar.

"You've been gone for nearly two hours. Albus said he thought there might be trouble. You'd better head up to the castle now before he sends a group of the Order or something to investigate." Aberforth rolled his eyes, something his brother never did.

Remus put the cloak on and grabbed the box, Aberforth sighed and pulled the cloak over the box.

"You can't be a walking box, boy."

"Thanks Aberforth." Remus made his way back inside the castle and pulled off the cloak once he got to the door of Dumbledore's office, which he knocked on.

"I'm assuming that's Remus letting me know that he's back. If so, go give your gifts to Lily. Leave the cloak on the door knob, Lily's anxious to see you. If not, come in."

Hanging the cloak on the knob, Remus walked down the hall; his footsteps echoed and Ms. Norris hissed at him while he passed.

Knocking on Lily's door, he ran a quick hand through his hair, brushing back the dark brown strands that had taken to falling over his forehead and into his eyes.

"Come in," Lily called. Remus pushed the door open and walked into the room; his eyes adjusting to the dim lighting.

Lily was sitting on the bed in her nightgown, brushing her hair.

"I know you said to get the baby book but I thought you might like some more things. I hope you don't mind." He sat down next to her after she had patted the side of the bed beside her.

The next hour was spent laughing and crying over the pictures that he had brought. It was bad luck that the last picture she picked up was her wedding photo. She sobbed into Remus' chest and all he could do was hold her and tell her it would be alright. His words felt empty, he didn't know if it would be alright. How could it ever be alright again, her husband was dead.

Remus stood up suddenly, the empty box sliding off his lap and hitting the floor. Lily looked at him confusedly through red rimmed eyes.

"Good night." He said stiffly before leaving the room. That night, he couldn't sleep. He was haunted by memories of James. _I don't even know what to do. How am I going to protect them from Voldemort? _In his mind, James spoke.

"I know you will Moony. I trust you."


	4. Chapter 4

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

Two weeks went by before Dumbledore called Remus, Lily, and Harry to his office. Snow had begun to fall on the grounds of Hogwarts and the castle was frigid when away from a fireplace. Remus helped Lily bundle Harry up in a wool sweater and thick black trousers. The two of them were wearing Muggle clothes, assuming that it was finally time for them to go.

"Ah, good you dressed appropriately!" Dumbledore smiled at them as he closed the door behind them. "You were right to think that you were leaving. I have just finished putting the final enchantments on the building that you will call home until this dreaded affair is over. It's already furnished, I'll have the _Daily Prophet _delivered to you each morning, but not by a _Prophet _owl. Your… what is it called… Ah,yes." Dumbledore was conferring with a piece of parchment on his desk, "Your refrigerator operates in the same way as the tables in the Great Hall. I have two of my best elves that will stock your refrigerator for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks of course. I do enjoy a good snack, especially after-." He caught Remus' eye, "Ah right, perhaps another time. Are you ready to leave?"

They had both nodded. Dumbledore put a hand on the two of them, his blue eyes twinkling. Remus blinked and they were standing before a quaint cottage in the woods. Dumbledore spread his arms.

"You have a mile of land around you on all sides that can be walked around in by you undetected. The only person who knows the exact location of the cottage is me." He pointed west. "About 5 miles up the road is a village inhabited by about 2,000 people. There are a few pubs but that's about it. I suggest going to the village in the invisibility cloak which I will leave with you to pass on to Harry." He handed Remus two sets of keys. "Why don't you do the honors Remus?"

Lupin walked up the cobbled path and put his hand on the wooden door. He slid the key into the lock and heard at least 5 locks slide out of place. He turned the handle and stepped inside his new home.

* * *

Dumbledore gave them a tour of the home before saying goodbye and promising that he would be visiting soon. Remus and Lily looked at each other. _Merlin, you are going to live together in the same house. I thought I would never share a house with anyone… _he thought, he had always assumed that he would end up alone. Instead, it seemed, he would be living with one of his best friends. They put Harry in his playpen before walking to the kitchen.

With a flick of a switch, the kettle was turned on. Remus pulled out two brand new white mugs and set tea bags inside of them. He then opened the refrigerator and looked at the huge amount of food inside. He pulled out a roast that only needed to be put in the oven for 45 minutes according to the note attached to it. Fiddling with the dials, he stared confusedly at the oven. Lily's hands came from behind him and set the oven to the right temperature and put the roast into it before setting the timer.

"It helps that my parents were Muggles. It means I can cook for myself if I need to." She smiled at him but her smile seemed distant. The kettle shrieked and broke the silence. He poured the boiling water into the mugs and made her tea exactly how she liked it; just with a splash of milk. He preferred sugar and milk with just a splash of tea. They sat down at the dining room table and drank in silence.

"I'm sorry I haven't been as talkative as usual Rem-."

He interrupted her, he didn't want her to feel guilty for grieving her husband. "It's fine. You're forgetting I'm used to living and being alone. Silence suits me just fine. When you want to talk, talk. But don't let my presence make it seem like you have to talk to me constantly."

Lily smiled a genuine smile at him; he returned it before going up to his room to give her some time alone.

* * *

Weeks went by without word from Dumbledore. Lupin was always the first awake; his large feet trodding silently on the cold wood floor. He stretched and turned on the kettle before picking up that morning's _Daily Prophet. _He stared down in shock at the headline: **_LORD VOLDEMORT VANQUISHED. NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM THE ONLY BOY TO SURVIVE THE KILLING CURSE. _**He read the article quickly and felt sick to his stomach. The destruction of Voldemort had cost Frank and Alice Longbottom their lives. He had known Frank and Alice in school; they had always been very kind to him.

Lily Potter entered the kitchen and only paused for a moment when she saw Lupin. He was shirtless and wearing his pajama trousers. She would have thought it was James had she not seen the pale pink scars on his back. _James is dead. _She thought firmly, and the dull ache in her chest intensified to a sharp pain.

"Anything interesting in the news today Rem?" She began to prepare breakfast to distract herself, even though all she could think about was how James looked when he laughed; she would wake Harry once it was done.

"Voldemort is gone." He heard her gasp and hurry to his side. He handed her the paper and took her place in the kitchen, buttering toast.

"Frank and Alice… They were always so lovely." Her voice was sad as she looked at him. She then glanced back at the newspaper, "Peter is apparently dead."

Remus froze, had Sirius broken his promise and killed him?

"Says they don't know who did it. But 12 Muggles were killed and all that was left of Peter was a finger. You don't think…?"

"No," Remus said firmly, "Sirius wouldn't have done that. Someone got to him before Sirius did. I'm sure we'll be hearing from Dumbledore though. There's no point in you staying in hiding anymore. You and Harry are safe."

She looked at him thoughtfully, "I think we might stay here. I've come to love this old cottage. It's cute. And it's the perfect place to raise Harry. He can go to the village primary school until it's time for him to go to Hogwarts."

"Right, well then I guess I'll just make some arrangements for me then."

"What are you talking about?"

"Surely you don't want me to stay?" Remus announced incredulously, his brown eyes looking at her curiously.

"You're acting as if I was using you Remus. I find your presence comforting. Even if he is gone, I want you to stay. You are a great friend, and if I ever need to talk to someone about James, you'll be here."

Lupin rocked on his heels, plating the scrambled eggs he had made. But he was smiling.

"Well, to be honest, I'd love to stay here with you and Harry too."

A family, he would have a family.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: The pairing list has been updated in the first chapter. This chapter is the shortest so far and I apologize for that. **

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

Albus Dumbledore's usually peaceful study was filled with a roar of raised voices. Sirius Black was standing in front of Dumbledore's desk, gesticulating wildly. Remus Lupin was leaning against a wall before the large windows that overlooked the grounds, his eyes distant as he looked at his old home.

"How did Snape know that Voldemort was going to go after another boy?" Sirius asked furiously.

"Yes, I'd like to know that actually," Remus turned to look at Dumbledore with an eyebrow raised, "Severus was a Death Eater, and he knew that Voldemort was going to go after another boy. But we were all under the impression that Voldemort was going to pursue Harry until someone offed Voldemort."

Dumbledore sighed deeply, steepling his fingers under his chin. "I'm afraid I owe you two some information."

"Damn right you do!" Sirius shouted, his eyes narrowed at Dumbledore. Remus walked up and touched Sirius' shoulder briefly before sitting down.

"Please continue, Albus." Remus leaned back in the chair while Sirius stared at him fixedly, refusing to sit down.

"Sybill Trelawney made a prophecy the night of her interview for the position of Divination teacher. I was actually about to leave, she didn't seem very promising, and then…"

Dumbledore's wand came to his temple and Remus watched curiously as a silvery thread was drawn away. The wizard walked over to a cabinet which he opened to reveal a strange, reflective bowl. He placed the thread inside and a ghost like apparition of Sybill Trelawney rose from the bowl.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ..." Before she could finish the prophecy, Dumbledore waved his hand through the mist and drew the memory back into his mind.

Remus's hand was over his mouth slightly, he was hunched forward and staring intensely at the bowl.

"Born as the seventh month dies. Neville and Harry were born in July, their parents were in the Order…"

Sirius interrupted him, "I really don't give a rat's ass about the prophecy, I want to know how Snape knew about it."

Dumbledore's blue eyes returned to the bowl, "Severus was outside of the door and overheard me, but not all of it. He was apprehended by Aberforth, luckily. After he was thrown out of the pub, he reported what he had heard to Lord Voldemort-."

"SNAPE TOLD VOLDEMORT?" Sirius thundered. Remus had never seen him this angry before, "SNAPE IS WHY JAMES DIED? SNAPE IS WHY FRANK AND ALICE DIED?!" Sirius raced to the door, "I'm going to kill him, Dumbledore."

"You will not kill one of my teachers, Sirius."

Remus was snapped out his thoughts almost instantly, his voice sharp, "You have employed Severus Snape? A known Death Eater? "

"Yes I have. I trust Severus. He didn't mean for anyone to die. He thought he could protect his old friend by asking Voldemort to spare her, which was foolish. Lord Voldemort would not spare anyone if it meant he could destroy his one problem in the way of attaining unimaginable power."

"What's this rubbish?" Sirius snarled, his hand still on the door handle.

"It's true," Dumbledore announced seriously, "Neville Longbottom has the ability to destroy Lord Voldemort. Between you and me, I don't think that we've seen the last of Voldemort. Since that is the case, the safety of Neville Longbottom is essential, because Neville will end it for us all."

"And this could have happened to Harry," Lupin murmured into his hand.

"That's everything that you needed to know," Dumbledore said firmly while Remus rose to his feet.

"I don't think it would be wise to tell Lily this, she would see it as a betrayal. Severus did not intend for James to die. He was trying to protect the Potters."

Remus glanced back at the Headmaster when he reached the door, "I am going to tell her one day. Perhaps not now, but she will know. This isn't something you could just keep from someone."

With that, he and Sirius left.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Here we have the slight Remus/Lily. It will be resolved in future chapters.**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

Years passed by peacefully. On Harry's seventh birthday, they had decided to travel out to London to take him to the Natural History Museum. Remus and Lily had a strange relationship, they acted as husband and wife in the sense that they were a team when with Harry but without Harry, they were friends. Harry called Remus by his first name but loved him like a father all the same. The trip to London was spur of the moment, Remus had suggested it to Lily the day before Harry's birthday. She had agreed, knowing that Harry would love a trip into London, he had never been to the big city before.

They apparated into London Victoria Train Station. Harry jumped up and down, chasing after pigeons, a delighted smile on his face. Remus sprinted after him, afraid to lose him in the crowd. They walked to the Underground station and took the tube to South Kensington. Harry babbled in wonder, asking Remus how they were underground and alive. Remus didn't actually have an answer, so Lily filled in for him. Remus' face was slightly green as he began to think about the pressure of dirt pushing down on the tiny subway and was quite glad to step out into fresh air and sunshine.

The museum enchanted Harry; he was mad about dinosaurs at the moment. He whooped in delight as he ran around the fossils, examining them from all angles. Remus kept an eye on him and Lily wandered around and read exhibit plaques. Lupin allowed himself to smile; there would be a small party at home waiting for Harry. Sirius, Dumbledore, and Hagrid had agreed to arrive that night at 6. Remus checked his watch throughout the day. At 5:30, he gathered Lily and Harry, both of whom seemed exhausted. They apparated while in the busy crowd outside of the museum; the sounds of the street covering up the loud crack.

Lily leaned into him when they arrived outside of the cottage, "I'm knackered." She whispered into Remus' ear while Harry sprinted up to the cottage with the keys.

"Surprise!" A chorus of voices greeted him. Lily looked at Remus in slight panic before seeing that it was Sirius, Hagrid, and Dumbledore. She relaxed against him once more and hugged each of their guests.

* * *

That night, Sirius pulled Remus aside.

"I'm going to tell you something that you need to know. I don't think you should try to get with Lily unless she makes the first move. It's a bad idea mate."

Remus shook his head grinning bitterly, "You don't have to worry, Padfoot. I don't intend on 'getting with Lily', ever. Sure, I fancy her, how could you not? But I can't do that." His smile disappeared, "I couldn't do that to James."

Sirius nodded, "You were always the smart one, and you always manage to prove that you are the smartest. You still don't think that you're going to stay single for the rest of your life though, do you? You'll find someone, who couldn't resist your scrawny body and nerdy tendencies?"

Remus shook his head again with a smile and walked back into the kitchen to sing Happy Birthday to Harry. He cut the chocolate cake he had made the night previously and watched as Harry opened his gifts. Hagrid had given him a small owl ('Ter train ya fer yer proper Hogwarts owl'), Dumbledore had given him a box of Honeyduke's Finest Chocolate (which Lily had mouthed to him 'Put that away when he goes to bed'), Sirius had given Harry another broom (larger than the last), and Lily and Remus had given him a new jumper, a set of dinosaur figurines, and a set of mini Quidditch robes (which Lily had said was from James). Harry went to bed extremely happy, insisting that he wore his Quidditch robes to bed. "Let him do it, Lils," Remus had said lazily, flipping a page in the book he was reading. They were sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace together. The party had ended an hour ago. Sirius had left with a bottle of firewhiskey and Lily's makeup on his face. Harry had given him a makeover, apparently.

"You made Harry's day today, Rem." She said as she sipped the tea he had prepared.

Remus shrugged, staring into the fireplace, "I am glad he enjoyed himself. You seemed to enjoy yourself too."

"Yes, I hadn't been to that museum since I was a little girl with my family. I was thinking this Christmas we could go to my parents'. I haven't seen Petunia since my wedding."

Remus nodded, yawning slightly, "I think a reunion would do the both of you good."

Lily turned to face him, biting her lip slightly. "Remus?"

"Mmm?" He dragged his eyes away from the flame to meet her green eyes. She leaned in and kissed him hesitantly. He kissed her back, his arms coming around to wrap around her waist. The kiss grew stronger as she gained confidence but they broke apart as her mug of hot tea spilt into his lap.

Remus flew to his feet, cursing loudly as the liquid scalded him. Lily was apologizing profusely.

"It's fine," Remus said, his voice a tad bit higher than usual. "I'm fine, honestly Lily. Go to bed. I'll clean this up." He watched as she walked to the hallway where the bedrooms were, she paused and turned to look at him. He was hunched over pulling the fabric away from his thighs, muttering curse words as he gingerly bent down and picked up her shattered mug. _He kissed me back. _She thought, her cheeks reddening. And then she burst into silent tears. Remus was her friend, her best male friend since Hogwarts. He was nothing more, and now she had gotten so sentimental that she had actually kissed him. What would James think? She couldn't move on, she had loved James with her entire heart.

Would James want her to be happy? Yes, he would. But she couldn't be happy without James, no matter what man was in her life. _I'll apologize to Remus tomorrow. Yes, that's what I'll do._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I did state in the previous chapter that years had passed by, in fact it was Harry's seventh birthday in the previous chapter. Remus and Lily would have been living together for six years since James' death. Sorry if that wasn't clear. Thank you for all the reviews, you are all the best :). Remus/Lily is not going to happen, I'm afraid. **

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

The large feet took the same path as they did every morning, down the cold wooden floors of the hallway and stopping directly in front of a newspaper that sat on the welcome mat. Above the feet was a pair of plaid pajama bottoms, which merged into a pale, scarred, lean torso. Lupin leaned down and picked up the paper, brown eyes scanning the parchment. He closed his eyes for a moment, he hadn't had a good night's sleep by any means. He had been kept awake by his thoughts. Lily had kissed him. She wasn't drunk and it wasn't his birthday, so the only reason why she would do that is because she had perhaps fallen in love with him. Or she had acted in the heat of the moment. His eyes read the columns but his mind didn't process them, too caught up in trying to decide what had happened. _What am I supposed to do now? Act like it never happened? It's been six years since James died… I still shouldn't have kissed her back. _

Remus was startled out of his thoughts as arms wrapped around his legs.

"Morning Remus!" Harry announced happily, climbing up to the stool that sat in front of the kitchen counter, "What's for breakfast?"

"How does French toast sound?" Remus asked as he found a frying pan in the cabinet. He worked efficiently, making the batter with a recipe he remembered that his mother had taught him as a boy. By the time breakfast was prepared, Lily joined them in the kitchen. Remus avoided her gaze and went into the sitting room with his newspaper. The paper hid his pale face as she sat beside him on the couch.

"How do your legs feel?"

Remus shut the paper and looked at her, "Oh, they're fine now. You didn't get me too badly. Anyways, I've had worse injuries before."

Lily nodded, yet she looked preoccupied, "I don't know what you think of me Remus. You must think that I… "

"What I think of you? Well, to be honest, I've fancied you since I was a boy. Who wouldn't? You're beautiful, talented, smart. But I never plucked up the courage to tell you. James on the other hand, was confident. He won you fair and square, I never put up a fight. He never knew. You never knew. But I know that you didn't mean what you did last night and honestly I just want to be friends. It would be the best for everyone."

She was crying again, though not profusely, "Oh Remus, I knew you would understand. Last night, I don't know what was going through my mind. I'm so sorry I kissed you, and I am really sorry I spilt tea on you." She hugged him, her voice muffled against his shoulder.

"Can I have more toast?" Exclaimed Harry as he watched the two of them hug, Lily was crying into Lupin's shoulder. Remus glanced at Harry and unwrapped himself from Lily.

"Well Harry, have you finished all the toast I made for you earlier?"

Remus stood and brought his and Lily's plate to the kitchen, noticing Harry's clean plate, "There's a good lad. Help me do the washing up of your Mum's plate, and I'll make you some more. Then, you and I can have a go on your new broom. How does that sound?"

With Harry's help, they finished the dishes within a few minutes.

"Brush your hair, Harry!" Lily called as Harry raced to his bedroom. Remus glanced back at Lily who had walked over to him. She crossed her arms and leaned against the counter.

"You fancied me since we were at Hogwarts?"

Remus' ears went red; he had thought that she would just drop the subject. "Yes, I did. But I see you as a friend now." He focused on the slices of bread in the skillet, glad he didn't have to look at her.

"Sirius always said you fancied Mary MacDonald."

Harry jumped up onto the stool at the counter and ate the next two pieces of toast that Remus had prepared for him.

"No, Mary and I were always just good friends," Remus began to wash the frying pan, wanting desperately to leave the kitchen. He felt awkward around Lily at the moment. The kiss didn't mean anything for her but it did for him, he was smitten by her. But he would teach himself not to be. He would learn to let go, as he always did. He didn't hear Lily tell Harry to go brush his teeth but by the time he was finished with the dishes, Harry was waiting expectantly at the entrance to the kitchen with his broom over his shoulder.

"Make sure he doesn't hurt himself," she murmured. Remus nodded before grabbing a shirt from his bedroom and following Harry out the door. He carried a bag of golf balls, which Harry liked to catch or race after while he was on his broom. He was a natural Seeker, had the right build for it.

"Now, remember Mum's rules. No crazy flying. No diving too hard to get the balls. You come inside when I say it's time to go inside. Understand?"

Harry nodded and straddled his broom, grinning at Remus.

"C'mon Dad, I want to play!"

Remus was stunned momentarily. Harry had called him 'Dad'. He glanced back at the house almost guiltily, and saw Lily in the window with a hand over her mouth and her eyes filled with tears. She had heard.

"Sorry, Remus, I didn't mean to… It just slipped out." Harry had noticed how Lupin's face had lost its color and his eyes were closed.

"It's…" His voice was hoarse, "It's fine Harry but I'm not your Dad. Just stick to calling me Remus. It'd be better for both of us." Remus opened his eyes once more and fished out a few golf balls.

"Alright then, you said you wanted to play. Let's see if you can catch all of these." He threw three balls high into the air and watched as Harry soared. The broom was faster than the last one he had gotten for his birthday. If Lily was still watching, she would be fretting and insisting that Harry came down. Squinting his eyes, he watched as Harry flew higher. In his Quidditch robes and at such a height, Remus would have assumed that it was a Quidditch player in the sky; not a seven year old boy with knobby knees, untidy hair, and big green eyes behind glasses.

* * *

Hours passed in happiness as Remus continued to throw the balls and Harry succeeded in catching them all.

"Come on down now Harry. It's time for lunch." _And I need to go check on your mother. _Once inside, Remus fixed the boy a peanut butter sandwich and rubbed the top of his head fondly. With a heavy feeling resting on his chest, Remus walked down the hall to Lily's room. He tried the handle, but it was locked.

"Lily, it is Remus. May I come in?"

The response sounded like a sob, Remus drew his wand and murmured "_Alohomora." _He tried the handle again and was pleased that it was unlocked. He paused in the doorway, looking at Lily with pity in his eyes. She was curled up on her bed, tissues strewn about her and tears running down her cheeks.

"I…" He shut the door softly, "Harry didn't mean to call me that. He knows that James is his father. I think he was just preoccupied with being able to play on his broom. I know I'm not his father either. Six years have passed and not a day goes by when I don't miss James… I'll never come near to how great of a father James was to Harry. I'll go if you'd like."

Lily rubbed her eyes, "No, Remus I don't want you to go. I was just being silly. I suppose I was just worried that Harry had forgotten about James. I know he hasn't, how could he? He practically has a shrine devoted to James on his wall. And then I felt guilty again because of last night and how James must feel to see me kissing you wherever he is. I want him to know that I didn't mean it."

Remus remained standing stiffly in front of the door, "Lily, I don't know what you are telling me to do. If you want me to go, I will go. I know that the kiss didn't mean anything, and if I know, then James," he would go along with her belief that James was somewhere watching over them, "James would know that too."

She stood up and hugged him tightly, whispering, "Please don't leave me. I can't be alone, what if someone comes after Harry and I?"

Guilt filled him again, how could he protect them if he could barely take care of himself. How could he protect them if it was a full moon, and he was gone?

"But, even if I stay, I'll not be here once every month. And what if people hear that you're housing a werewolf? It'll ruin your reputation, now that more legislation has been-."

"Remus," her voice was firm which reminded him of all the times she had told off the Marauders. "Remus, I don't give a damn if you're a werewolf. I thought we got over that in third year. If someone has a problem with my friend being a werewolf, then they are going to have a problem with me."

"I was just checking," he mumbled sheepishly. Lily rested her head against his chest and he rocked her slowly, reassuringly, in his arms.

"Remus?"

"Mmm?"

"Will you sleep with me tonight?"

Remus spluttered, going red in the face. He managed to get, "What? How is that not going to make you guilty? Also, I don't think friends tend to do that" out of his mouth.

Lily started giggling madly, "Not like that you silly man. Oh Remus, you were always so unbelievably modest. No, I just want to sleep in a bed with someone who cares about me. I was quite used to sharing a bed with James, you see. I've really begun to miss it, pillows don't cut it for six years."

Lupin eyed her suspiciously, "Very well. No tricks though."

She laughed again, "Yes Remus, no tricks."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: There is a Lion King vibe in the beginning, I noticed :)**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. **

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

Christmas Day was upon them. Remus stirred as Harry bounded into their room. Lily pressed her face against the pillow with a groan. Remus slept in the same bed as Lily every night, he was there when she had nightmares and he was there when she needed someone's shoulder to cry on.

"Remus, Mum! IT'S CHRISTMAS! We get to see Grandma and Grandpa today! And Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia. C'mon guys! There are presents under the tree."

Remus murmured into Lily's ear, "Up you get Lily Flower, or else your son will burst with excitement."

Lily's bleary green eyes found the clock and she mumbled, "Before 9 he's your problem." She then buried her head underneath the blankets, her hands wrapping around his waist. Remus got out of bed, hearing Lily say "No don't go, you're warm."

He grinned at Harry, "C'mon, let's go make breakfast. Perhaps the smell of bacon, eggs, and coffee will make your mother surface." Remus tugged on a wooly sweater, looking out at the snow falling outside of the cottage.

He slid his feet into slippers and began to cook breakfast in the kitchen. Harry sat in front of their Christmas trees, his green eyes wide with wonder as he fantasized about what could be within the wrapping paper and boxes.

"We'll open those when we get to your grandparents. Your mum wanted to make today a big family day. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia won't arrive until after you've opened your presents."

In secret, Remus was dreading meeting Lily's family again. He wasn't a just a friend to Lily anymore he was a… _Damn, what am I? Maid? Friend who she cuddles up with at night? Shoulder to cry on? Partner in Platonic Parenting? _He laughed at the latter, it sounded like something out of a Muggle self-help book. Her parents had always been lovely to him. Petunia had been cordial with him when he had visited Lily over the summer when they were children. However, Petunia hadn't particularly taken to James at the wedding reception. After that, Lily had had a falling out with her. He would be cordial, but if Petunia or her husband said something insulting to Lily they would leave.

Lily came out of the room wrapped in a dressing gown, rubbing her eyes slowly, "This house is frigid Rem."

Remus picked up his wand and lit the fire wordlessly, grinning at Lily cheekily. She stumbled into the kitchen, staggered forward, and hugged him to keep from falling, he was quite sure she had fallen asleep on the spot.

"You're lucky I don't have to move to cook eggs or else you'd fall onto the floor." He grinned as he spoke. The grin faded from his face as she brought up the trip to her parents.

"I know that you already will, but can you dress up a bit for tonight? It's just that you and I are raising Harry together and so my dad will have a bit more of a judgmental air around him rather than if you were just my friend over for Christmas dinner. He took to James because he thought that he would be a good father, and no doubt he'll think that you are a good father figure. Not to mention, Vernon is impressed by powerful looking men. James showed up to Christmas wearing his pajamas once." She laughed softly before pulling away to put their breakfast on plates.

"How are we getting to Grandma and Grandpas' mum?"

Lily glanced at the fireplace, "Remus had their house connected to the Floo Network for today. You and I will go first and then Remus will follow after us with the presents. Eat up though, darling. We have to be at your grandparents in about an hour."

Remus did the dishes before heading to their bedroom. They had found that Remus' room was larger than Lily's so they moved in there. He opened the dresser, pushing aside her shorts and blouses until he found a pair of Muggle black trousers. He didn't know how they had ended up in her drawer.

"Try the blue sweater with it," Lily said as she entered the bedroom.

Remus quickly changed, pulling on shiny black dress shoes, "Do I look intimidating?" Lily chuckled and stepped forward to push his hair back.

"Perhaps if you had a mustache. Vernon had a very large mustache the last time I saw him. I don't particularly care for them though." Remus picked up his wand, pointed it at his upper lip and a large fluffy mustache appeared. Lily laughed until there were tears in her eyes.

"What are you going to wear?" Remus let out a sigh as he sunk onto their bed, using his wand to make vapor clouds turn into various animals.

"A dress would be silly, it's too cold for that. How about my cream trousers and a green sweater?"

Remus wasn't listening, the vapor faded as Lily waved her hand through it, looking down at him with a frown.

"Did you hear what I was going to wear?"

"Mm… Green trousers and a cream top right?"

Lily smiled and rolled her eyes before getting changed after Remus had left the room.

"Are we bringing all of the presents?" He called through the door.

"Why do you ask?" He could hear the smile in her voice, "Is my best friend not as strong as I thought he was to carry some presents?"

Remus chuckled, he remembered when he had just come back from a full moon at Hogwarts and had dropped all his books on the ground which Lily had picked up (though James had teased him endlessly), "No, nothing like that. Just was wondering."

"Yes I think Harry would rather open them all than having to wait at my parents' house, knowing that there are more to open at home."

Lily opened the door to the room and he followed her to the sitting room. Harry looked at them expectantly, a grin spreading across his face.

"Are we leaving now Mum?"

Lily walked up to the fireplace and tossed Floo Powder into the flames from a pot they kept on the mantelpiece. Harry exclaimed as the flames turned bright green.

Lily stepped into the fire, winking at Remus before calling Harry over to her.

"The Evans' House!" Lily said firmly. Remus watched as they disappeared before turning to the massive pile of presents under the tree. He drew his wand and summoned a large sack. Once he had crammed all the presents into it, he slung it over his shoulder, feeling rather like Father Christmas.

Grabbing a handful of Floo Powder, he took one last glance around the cottage before stepping into the green flames.

"The Evans' House!" A few moments passed and the flames inside of the empty fireplace died out.

* * *

Remus coughed as ash got into his throat. He stepped out of the fireplace into a carpeted sitting room. Lily stood up from the white leather couch she was sitting on next to her mother and father. They had hardly aged a bit. Her father was still tall and intimidating, his hair had gone silver. Her mother still had her friendly air and warm smile.

Lily brushed some ash out of his hair and pretended to kiss him on the cheek, taking the opportunity to whisper in his ear.

"I told Dad and Mum that you're helping me raise Harry. Mum was delighted. Dad said he'll have to see what sort of man you are. Be on guard."

She took the sack from his shoulder and began to put the presents under her parents' tree. Remus stepped forward and shook her father's hand, internalizing a wince as his knuckles were crushed.

"So, you're Lily's new man, hmm?"

"No sir, nothing like that. We're just fri-."

Mrs. Evans got up and hugged him, "I remember you Remus! Oh my, you've gotten tall. Traveling by fireplace must make you thirsty. I'll make you some tea."

Remus awkwardly rocked on his heels, watching as Harry raced around the home with a toy firetruck that he had obviously gotten from his grandparents.

"Sit down, boy." Mr. Evans said gruffly, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at Remus.

Remus sat down across from Lily's father, clasping his hands together to keep them from bouncing nervously on his knee.

"So, I take it that you're a wizard? Lily tells me you've been living with her for six years."

Remus cleared his throat, "I offered to protect her and Harry when Voldemort went after her. I was best friends with James, you see. Lily arrived at my cottage and I decided that James would want one of his friends to look after his wife and son. So I did. We are just friends, always have been."

Her father's brown eyes scanned over his scarred face, following them until they disappeared under the collar of his sweater.

"Where'd you get the scars?"

Remus' hand came up automatically to touch the pale pink stripes of skin on his face, "I was attacked by wolves when I was a kid. Luckily my dad came out and shot the wolf before it killed me." He looked up as Mrs. Evans came in with a tray of tea cups.

"Thank you very much, Mrs. Evans," he said gratefully as he picked up the tea. Lily sat beside him while Harry was passing out everyone's presents. Lily's hand rested a cushion, tapping a rhythm; helping Harry read the labels when the names were indiscernible.

Remus took the opportunity whilst Lily was preoccupied to reach down into her pile and take the small wrapped box. It wasn't the right time to give her the ring he had purchased her. He had done the inscription himself, but thought that she probably wouldn't want to burst into tears in front of her parents. He slipped the ring box into his pocket, for a moment he thought that Mr. Evans had seen him but he couldn't be certain.

He watched as Harry opened his many presents; smiling as the boy ran around excitedly when he got a second set of Quidditch robes. Harry played quietly while Lily opened her gifts. Remus had got her a pearl necklace and a sweater, but that had been all he could afford given that he spent most of his money on the ring.

"The pearls are genuine… I wanted to get you more but I couldn't afford to." He was murmuring into her ear so her parents wouldn't hear him, he didn't like telling people that he was practically destitute when he was paying for things himself.

Her smile was wide, "Remus, I don't care about gifts. I've got you. Now open yours."

He looked down at the three presents on his lap. The first was a brand new grey cardigan, the second was a book on Defense Against the Dark Arts (which had been his favorite class while at Hogwarts), and a handsome wizard's watch. His old watch had given up the ghost last year.

The kitchen was empty except for Remus, who had offered to do the washing up before Vernon, Petunia, and their son arrived. He didn't turn as he heard the kitchen door open, assuming it was Lily.

"I hope you liked the gifts I got you."

"Yes, Remus, I absolutely adored them." Lupin turned around as a put on falsetto voice spoke to see Lily's father. His cheeks reddened instantly and he stared down at the dish towel in his hands.

"I… thought you were…" He rubbed the back of his neck and turned back to the sink.

"You were going to propose to my daughter?"

_Damn, he saw me. And of course, he thinks I was going to marry her,_ he grimaced at the soapy water on his hands.

"No, it's not a wedding ring." Remus dried his hands on the dish towel.

"Well then, what is it that you decided not to give to my daughter? ," Mr. Evans said gruffly. "I have a right to know."

With a sigh, Remus fished the box from his pocket and unwrapped it carefully before opening the simple black velvet ring box. Inside was a plain gold ring, he took it out of the box and handed it to Lily's father.

"I did a bit a magic and made an inscription on it. It just says 'James'. I know she has her wedding rings, but I wanted to get her something to show that I still remember him. Every day. And that no one will ever forget him."

The front door opened and footsteps echoed into the kitchen.

"Oh Dudley dear how you've grown!" Remus glanced at the kitchen door as an obese boy opened the cabinets and pulled out a tin of cookies.

"Dudley, son, maybe you should hold off on the cookies…" Mr. Evans trailed off as Dudley shoved a cookie into his mouth, spilling crumbs down the front of his tailored suit which he had obviously been made to wear for the occasion.

Remus decided he might as well go introduce himself to these Muggles. He stepped out to the sitting room and ran a hand through his hair, hoping he looked presentable.

Lily was right. Vernon Dursley was a beast of a man who seemed to be missing a neck. He too was wearing a tailored suit. His face was very red which made it seem as if his well-kept mustache was on a tomato.

Remus offered his hand out as Lily introduced him.

"Petunia, Vernon, this is my best friend, Remus. He's been Harry's stand in male role model for about 7 years."

Dursley stared at his hand as if it was the Ebola virus. Remus' arm dropped limply to his side. Lily had brought Petunia closer to him. She was the opposite of her husband; tall and skinny with a neck seemingly almost as long as a giraffe's.

"Tuney, you remember Remus? We had him over a few summers while I was at school."

Petunia's gaze softened as she recognized Remus, "You've gotten a lot more scars than the last time I saw you, Remus."

"Been attacked by more than one wolf in your life, lad?" Remus closed his eyes as Mr. Evans sounded behind him. Lily's touched his arm briefly.

"Not now," she whispered.

"Remus!" Harry jumped into his arms in fright, burying his face into Remus' sweater. Lupin's eyes narrowed as he saw blood on Harry's cheek.

"Harry, what happened?"

Harry sobbed into his sweater, "D-d-dudley hit me!" Remus' mouth turned into a hard line and he stared at Petunia and Vernon.

"Dudders wouldn't hurt a fly," Vernon said dismissively, waving his hand for emphasis. Petunia, however, looked pale. Remus sat down on the couch and managed to have Harry let him see his face.

"It's alright, you're alright Harry. You'll just have a bruise, okay?" Harry nodded as Remus pressed the ice wrapped in a towel that had been given to him by Mrs. Evans' against Harry's cheek.

"How about you play with your toys by Remus, Harry darling? Doesn't that sound good?" Lily kissed the top of her son's head, and made space between Remus and her so that Harry could sit.

* * *

Dinner was an awkward, silent affair. Petunia and Lily attempted to make conversation. Remus on the other hand was being studied by both Mr. Evans and Vernon Dursley. When the Dursleys had finally left, Harry was asleep on the couch, clutching his toy fire truck in his arms.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans confronted Lily and Remus while Lupin was picking up all of Harry's discarded Christmas gifts and putting them back into the sack.

"New scars, Remus? Come now, if you are going to stay in the same house with Lily and raise our grandson, you will have to be honest with us."

Remus couldn't do it. They would hate him, or fear him. Mrs. Evans had always been so kind to him. She wouldn't be once she found out his secret. Self-hatred radiated inside of him, his hands clenching into fists so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"Mum and Dad, Remus is a werewolf." The sack fell from his hands to the floor, his body tensing while Harry's toy cars ran along the floor. "He was bitten when he was four, and has had his condition ever since. On full moons, Remus transforms. But not into what you think of as a werewolf. It's more of a disease if anything. I've noticed that his form always looks sickly. Instead of harming people, Remus harmed himself in his wolf form. All those scars are people he could have turned or killed. Remus is a human like you or me. He was just unlucky."

Lupin's back was still turned on them, he was staring into the flames of the fireplace, afraid to look back at their facial expressions. The three people's eyes were locked on his tense back. Remus knelt down to pick up the sack, his voice shaking as he spoke.

"I'll see you at home. Thank you for your hospitality Mr. and Mrs. Evans. I'm sorry that I…."_ raised your grandson, came to your house, lied to you, exist. _He didn't finish his sentence, he grabbed Floo Powder from the small pot that Lily had placed over her parents' mantelpiece and tossed it into the flames. The green of the flames matched how ill he felt.

"Remus, darling." Mrs. Evans' hand was on his shoulder, "You don't have to apologize for anything. It's not your-."

Remus shrugged her off frantically and stepped into the flames, avoiding making eye contact with any of them.

"I'm sorry. I won't… Bother you again. Home."

With that, Remus disappeared. Lily looked furious as she took Harry's hand before speaking to her parents.

"I'm sorry he was like that. He doesn't think he deserves kindness from anyone because of his condition. He probably wasn't going to tell you. I did it to show him that you both don't care." She let out a sound of frustration, "I'd better go now or else he's going to do a runner."

Her father hugged her and her mother handed her a plate of cookies.

* * *

Remus was lying in their bed, his eyes closed. He had contemplated leaving, but he couldn't do it without talking to Lily first. Then again, her parents probably told her that it would be prudent for her to have him leave the house, for her safety. He had several minutes alone in the bed that he actually began to drift off. The door to their shared bedroom opened with a creak.

"Your behavior tonight left more to be desired."

A sigh escaped his lips; he kept his eyes closed and sensed that she sitting beside him on the bed and most likely looking down at him severely.

"My parents don't care that you're a werewolf. They know that it's an illness, not something out of a horror film. They invited us back to dinner tomorrow for Boxing Day and they want us over New Years Day." She pressed her lips against his cheek chastely, "You can fake sleep all you want Remus but I know you can hear me."

He blinked open an eye, looking up at her quickly to judge her expression. She was smiling slightly and didn't look too mad.

"I don't think Vernon liked me very much."

"Vernon doesn't like anyone very much, that's why Petunia took to him."

Lily got off the bed to change into her night gown and do her nightly rituals like brushing her hair until Remus would put the hair brush down and tell her that her hair was as brushed as some could possibly brush it without going mad.

"You and Petunia seemed to have a decent reunion."

"Yes, I think she was quite smitten with you actually."

"Me?" He scoffed, "I'm hardly handsome."

The hairbrush smacked his chest, "Your problem with women is that you don't think that you are handsome. You are, and once you realize that, you'll have no problem getting a girlfriend." She sat beside him and began to brush her hair. _If only it was that easy _he thought.

After fifteen minutes of hearing the brush run through her red hair, he sat up and pulled her into his arms, the hairbrush clattered to the floor.

"Enough," he growled as she laughed, "Enough of the blasted hairbrush for Merlin's sake. I need to sleep."

She settled in his arms and turned off the bedside lamp on her side, "Good night Remus. Thank you for being here with me."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." He turned off the bedside lamp on his side and fell asleep to the steady sound of Lily's deep breathing.


	9. Chapter 9

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter**

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

King's Cross Station was busy on September 1st. Harry was walking so fast to the barrier between Platform 9 and 10 that Lily, Remus, and Sirius in dog form had to jog to keep up with him. As they reached the barrier, Remus noticed a young boy with a strange check shaped scar on his forehead looking lost. It was Neville Longbottom. Remus had been invited to a baby party when the couple had found out that they were pregnant.

"Need help finding your way to Platform 9 and ¾ Neville?" Remus asked kindly.

The portly boy looked at him confusedly, "How do you know my name?"

"I was friends with your parents at school. You look just like them. This is my son Harry, why don't the two of you go in together and then me, Sirius and Mum will follow behind?"

Harry nodded, he had seen people go through the barrier countless times. He and Neville began chatting as they walked up into it. A few seconds passed before Remus, Lily, and Sirius followed after them.

The scarlet steam train let out a shrill whistle as Remus, Lily, Neville, and Harry appeared on the other side of the barrier. Harry was pushing his trolley, grinning as he looked at the train. His barn owl hooted and looked alarmed as it saw the huge mass of children. Remus was walking behind Harry with Lily; it was like a walk down memory lane for them.

"Do you remember when we would race each other to get to the train Rem? And then it was always the worst thing coming home." Lily let out a sigh. Remus smiled slightly, it was bittersweet for them all. The huge black dog padded after them, nipping at Remus' heels occasionally and barking every time he stumbled over his feet. Remus had aged well, aside from the grey that had begun to make an appearance at his temples. Lily attributed that to his monthly transformations. He had turned 31 in March.

The group stopped at a door to the train. Neville thanked them profusely before getting on the train. _That would be Harry if Lily hadn't apparated to my cottage. _That realization struck home as Remus smiled at Neville and watched him get on the train.

He knelt down to Harry's height, "I want you to make friends with that boy. I have a feeling he's never had a proper friend in his life." Harry nodded.

"You'll write to me?"

"Every day if you want us too," Lily chimed in.

Remus hugged Harry briefly before standing up and tousling his hair, "We're proud of you no matter what house you are put into. Write us a letter tonight telling us which one you end up in. Be good."

The dog barked as Harry petted and hugged him. Harry hugged his mother for a long time before getting on the train. Remus put an arm around Lily's shoulders while she leaned into him, tears in her eyes. The three of them waved and chased the train until they could no longer see Harry.

"An empty house," mused Lily. "Do you think he'll be safe?"

Sirius returned to human form in the men's bathroom, rejoining them a few moments later.

"He'll be safe. Dumbledore is there. There's nothing to worry about…" Remus' mind was focused on the young woman who had gotten on the train. She must have been at least 17, but she was beautiful. He felt guilty for a moment, she was still in school, he shouldn't be thinking of her. And yet, there was something that drew his attention to her and he didn't think it was just her pink hair.

* * *

As they were walking back to the barrier, Sirius glanced at Remus with a grin.

"You had your eyes on my cousin Nymphadora."

Remus glanced at Lily who was walking ahead of them, his voice still dropping to a whisper, "She's your cousin?"

"Moony is head over heels for my 18 year old cousin?" Sirius laughed clapping him on the shoulder.

Remus went red in the face, "I am not 'head over heels'. I just thought she was pretty, that's all. Just because you shag every girl you think is pretty doesn't mean we all think like that. Anyway, I don't want to be with anyone."

"Why's that Moony?"

"Because, I have to look after Lily now. Harry kind of kept her balanced. Now she'll be home alone, she won't have Harry to distract her from James. She loved him so much, Sirius. It's what he always wanted… It's just a shame that he isn't here to see just how much she ended up loving him." Remus ran a hand over his face, "I'm preparing myself for tears the minute she gets into the house. She'll probably sit in Harry's room and cry."

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "She'll take it that bad? He'll be back at Christmas."

"Christmas is a long time to wait to see someone who has been a constant in your life for eleven years. I just hope Snape isn't horrible to him, or else I'll have to go visit him and break his nose."

"When are you going to tell Lily about Snape?"

Remus let out a long sigh, "I don't know. She was talking of having him over for dinner at some point. I put my foot down. I don't trust him, at all. Dumbledore might, but he sold out James. He would have exchanged James and Harry for Lily. I don't want him in my house. Lily can meet with him behind my back, which she undoubtedly has."

"Do you think she fancies him?"

Lupin shook his head, "Lily doesn't fancy anyone. I've suggested that she got back on the dating scene, said she couldn't mourn by herself forever. She then burst into tears and said that she would love to be with me, but didn't want to disrespect James's memory."

"Merlin," Sirius ran a hand through his shaggy black hair, "Sounds like you have to carry tissues on you everywhere."

Remus shrugged, "She's allowed to cry. I don't mind." He looked at her sitting beside the barrier, "Sometimes I wish she would just talk to me though. Let me know what she is thinking, feeling. I don't want her to have to go through it alone. She told me something once, it kind of woke me up to not wanting to leave her alone. She said she wished that she was dead so that she and James could be together. But she had Harry then. I dunno, I just am going to keep an eye on her. You should come over often, distract her."

Sirius nodded, "Yeah, that is a good idea. I also caught wind of a trail on our little whiskery friend. He's still in the country. I want to find him and bring him in to the Dementors. Or kill him, he's caused us enough trouble to justify it."

"No," Remus narrowed his eyes as he spoke firmly, "No we shouldn't kill him. He deserves the Dementors."

Lily watched curiously as Remus and Sirius spoke in hushed voices a few paces away from her. Remus smiled at her as he walked over to her.

"Lils, Sirius is going to come for dinner tonight so we can hear the news about Harry. I'll cook tonight, you can take the night off."

The three went to the cottage, Lily quickly walked into Harry's room and shut the door. Remus glanced at Sirius as he grabbed a packet of tissues from a cupboard in the bathroom and spoke in a lowered voice.

"Told you so."

Remus knelt down at Harry's door and pushed the packet of tissues in the crack at the bottom of the door. He stood up and stared at it helplessly, wringing his hand.

"C'mon mate," Sirius called, "Just let her cry it out."

Remus walked down the hallway hesitantly, glancing back at Harry's door before he entered the sitting room. Sirius opened a bottle of firewhiskey and poured he and Remus a glass.

"Ten years of tears. You deserve a medal." Remus accepted the glass silently, sipping the burning liquor quietly, thinking before he spoke.

"James would have done the same for me if I had a wife and a kid. She's my friend, and she feels alone. The least I can do is anchor her down by being a shoulder to cry on."

Sirius nodded, "Where do you think Harry will end up?"

"Gryffindor," Remus announced instantly, "That or Ravenclaw. He's extremely bright, but incredibly loyal. I'm leaning more towards Gryffindor."

* * *

Lily came out of Harry's room when Remus had knocked on the door and said that dinner was ready and his letter had arrived. Her eyes were bloodshot and seemed distant as she sat at the table. Her fork picked at the pork chop on her plate, and chased after the peas but was never once lifted to her mouth. Remus furrowed his brow, but didn't comment. He cleared the plates, Sirius was talking to Lily but her answers were short.

Lupin sat back down in his chair and opened Harry's letter, flashing a smile at Lily before reading it aloud.

_Dear Mum and Remus,_

_I GOT SORTED INTO GRYFFINDOR! I'm really happy, because you all and Dad were in Gryffindor. The train ride over was very fun, I made three new friends. Their names are Ron, Hermione, and Neville. Remus, you didn't tell me that Neville was the boy who lived! Did you know that he lives with Muggles? He had never heard of Hogwarts before in his life! He's a bit nervous but he's very nice. Ron comes from a big family of siblings, he's very funny. I'm not sure if I am friends with Hermione, really. She's a bit of a know-it-all. _

_I am excited to have classes tomorrow, you were right Remus, the paintings really talk! Oh, one more thing, a teacher was staring at me during dinner. I think Percy (Ron's older brother, who is a prefect!) said his name was Snake or something. He doesn't look very nice. We also are going to have flying lessons this week! I'm really excited._

_Write me back soon, I can't wait to tell you how it goes!_

_Love,_

_Harry_

Remus set the letter down and looked up at Lily, who was smiling widely.

"It sounds like he's in love with the school already."

Remus nodded in agreement, Sirius laughed.

"He'll have a great time. Especially if he's made friends already. I wish we could go back to school," Sirius said wistfully.

* * *

By the end of the evening, Sirius left with a nod to Remus. Lupin closed the book that he had finished, and looked over at Lily. She was drinking a cup of tea and flipping through a Jane Austen novel.

"You ready to go to bed?"

Lily smiled and set her mug down in the kitchen before bringing the book to bed. Remus tidied up around the house before getting into bed.

"Well, good night Lily," he muttered, feeling rather awkward for the first time in years. Perhaps it was because Harry was no longer there, so he no longer needed to be with her.

She glanced over at him, "Good night Remus."


	10. Chapter 10

**~*Minor adult themes in this chapter*~**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

Regular, day to day life in the cottage was quiet. Remus and Lily operated in seemingly separate worlds. Dinner was the only time that they sat down together, Remus had moved into Lily's previous bedroom. It made his heart ache. He was in love with her, so much that when they didn't talk for the whole day, he would speak first and a weight would be lifted from his chest. The topic always discussed was Harry, whether he was having a good time or if he missed them. Lily had been absolutely horrified when they had received a letter from Minerva McGonagall. It told them that Harry had been caught flying when he had been told not to, but had appeared to be such a natural Seeker that McGonagall couldn't bring herself to punish him. Lily had written Professor Dumbledore, imploring him to let her pay him back for the Nimbus Two-Thousand he had gotten for Harry. Albus had cheerfully told her that she should consider it an early Christmas gift to Harry.

* * *

Remus sat down at the dining table with his bowl of pasta, a bottle of wine resting on the table next to a single glass. Lily hadn't come down for dinner, so he had set the table for one. With a murmured incantation, the cork popped out of the bottle. A long sigh escaped his lips as he filled the glass with much more wine than he usually allowed himself. However, he felt as if he was drowning in a sea of feelings that couldn't be acted upon. So he would drown out those feelings with alcohol. He didn't care. He didn't notice as Lily came into the room, his eyes closed as he took a long draught from the glass.

"I upset you," Lily stated as she sat down opposite of him with her dinner.

"Hmm?" Remus rumbled as he set the glass down, avoiding looking at her.

"You seem sad. All the time. You're drinking a lot more than you used to."

Lupin shrugged, his hand coming up to rub at his temples. A headache was already forming. "It doesn't matter how I feel."

"Oh, Remus, please don't think I don't care how you feel."

Remus spluttered into his glass, "I know that you don't care how I feel, Lily! That much is evident!"

Lily's green eyes narrowed at him, "You think I'm just able to move on? My husband was murdered, Remus!"

Lupin's brown eyes cast down to the floor in shame, "I know. I'm selfish. I always have been. I shouldn't have stayed after Harry left. I am not needed, and it only makes things uncomfortable between us."

"Remus, I want you to stay."

He shook his head, "You don't understand how it feels. I love you, Lily. Staying in the same house with you, being with you but not being able to **be **with you. I can't do it. I have to go, and you know that I have to go."

Lily looked torn, her fingers tapped the wooden table-top, "Remus…"

Wine poured into his glass, he picked it up and studied the liquid.

"I've drunk more because it numbs me. I don't feel the hurt as much." He took his plate to the kitchen, hearing her follow him. As his dish clattered into the sink, she had turned him around and was kissing him. Her fingers were running through his hair, his arms were wrapped around her waist. His headache faded.

* * *

Light poured into the large window, splaying across Remus Lupin's bare chest. He let out a groan as his eyes flickered open. He glanced around at the unfamiliar room, his heart lifted and sunk at the same time. His eyes found the empty wine bottle on the floor and the lift in his heart disappeared, it sunk to his stomach. He sat up in the bed, glancing back to see Lily's peaceful face as she slept, her red hair splayed out behind her. Her hair that smelled of strawberries, Remus closed his eyes wistfully; passionate kisses and the door to her room closing behind them. He opened his eyes, his cheeks red. Hands found the pile of clothes by his feet. Silently, he left her room and entered the shelter of his own.

* * *

Letting out a hiss of air, he gripped his hair as he sunk onto his own bed. _That was the biggest mistake you have ever made in your life. _His head throbbed, he wasn't sure if it was a hangover or a headache. Time passed before there was a knock at the door. Remus scrambled, pulling a sheet around his waist as Lily walked in. She sat across from his bed in the wooden chair he kept for reading. She crossed her arms and stared at him matter-of-factly.

"It was a mistake," he blurted out. "It didn't mean anything, I know it didn't. So, if you came in here to tell me that, I already know. I'm sorry, I should have known."

"It's alright, you were a bit drunk. We both were, to be honest."

Lupin nodded, wishing there was more than a sheet around him. He felt vulnerable.

"This doesn't change anything?" He asked hesitantly, half hoping that it did change things. That maybe she wanted to be together.

She shook her head, smiling, "No Remus. I'm sorry."

He nodded, "I figured as much. Lily, I think I'm going to go for a bit."

"Go?" She looked confused, her green eyes staring at him.

Lupin nodded, running a hand through his hair, "Yeah, go. I mean, I've never been in one place for so long. A part of me needs to keep moving. I'll stop by to visit but… You'll be alright, won't you?" When she nodded, Remus knew that it was time for him to leave. It was better this way, less awkward. He'd still see Harry, be there for Harry. He didn't have to be with Lily for that. But he knew for certain, he would never be back to this cottage permanently. Things had changed.


	11. Chapter 11

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. **

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

Lily Potter gazed out of her kitchen window as she did the dishes. It was fast approaching nightfall, and she kept hearing the sound of snapping twigs. It made her uneasy, especially as she was alone in the house with Harry fast asleep in his bedroom. She drew her wand and walked to the front door, checking that it was locked.

Remus Lupin took a deep breath; he had been pacing around the cottage for an hour now. Each time he had approached the door, he found another reason to not knock on it. He hadn't been to the cottage for two years, an unexplainable force had kept him away. Perhaps it was the thought of having to look Lily in the eyes and pretend that nothing had ever happened between them. Perhaps it was the fact that he hated himself so much, he thought that he didn't deserve to be happy. He was only back now because Dumbledore had mentioned that Lily had brought him up in a conversation and had said that she missed him.

His fist wavered over the front door. _Just knock. Do it. _Gritting his teeth, his fist hit the door; once, twice, three times. He lowered his arm, his fingers tapping restlessly at the side of his leg. The door creaked open, Lily Evans stood before him. He gazed at her; longing filling up in his chest. She was absolutely beautiful, her red hair cascaded down her shoulders like molten lava. He didn't speak, he just wanted to look at her forever.

"You complete ass, Remus Lupin!" With each word, she shoved him back. He didn't put up a fight, he knew that she would be mad at him. He had said that he was going to return and he never did. He flinched as a stinging hex hit his cheek. His brown eyes met her green gaze.

"You have the nerve to come back here after two years without a word?! What were you thinking? Did you think that I was just going to act like you hadn't left!? You left, and didn't say where you were going. How do you think that made me feel? What do you think I had to tell Harry? He's bitter about it, you walked out on us!"

Remus swallowed, "I know," his voice was broken. He cleared his throat and willed his voice to be stronger, "I was a git. I know. You didn't deserve that, Harry didn't deserve that. I just had the urge to roam, Lily. To be a nobody-."

"But you aren't a nobody! You were my family! Harry's family…"

"I know that. What I did was wrong, stupid. I just thought that you would understand that I…" Lupin shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair, "That I am unreliable. Stupid. Pathetic. It was bound to happen at some point. And I'm not here to stay, I'm going to be teaching at Hogwarts this year, Dumbledore's asked me. Merlin knows why he thinks I'm qualified to teach kids." He took a deep breath, "Lily, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you or Harry, and I just hope that in time you can forgive me."

Lily stared at him for a long moment before stepping back, "Harry'll be glad to see you. You've got a lot of explaining to do for him. You've missed a lot Remus. Neville Longbottom fought Voldemort again, he isn't gone."

Remus paused in the door, he felt ill. _Voldemort isn't dead. I left her alone without protection. _

"I…"

"Harry'll tell you in the morning, I'm sure." Lily locked the door after him and turned off the lights before retreating to her bedroom without another word. Remus stood still on the welcome mat, feeling out of place. It didn't feel right to return to his old bedroom, so he took off his shoes and padded over to the couch. Lying back, he allowed himself to relax.

"Ah, Moony, I see you're back."

Remus Lupin practically jumped out of his skin at the sound of James Potter's voice. Squinting in the dark he thought _Am I hallucinating? _

"Up here, mate."

Just above the dying fire in the fireplace, Remus could make out a portrait, and the glint of glasses.

"Never thought that I'd be painted really. Dumbledore set this up after Lily told him you had left. I think he did a bit bad on my nose but I'll live."

Remus was in a stunned silence, he raised his wand and relit the fire. Standing to his feet he gazed at the portrait of his closet friend; his eyes were filled with guilt, grief, and a sense of happiness. James looked just as he always had; carefree and young. His hair still stuck up all over the place and his hazel eyes were still bright.

"Moony, as much as I'm flattered by your staring, I'd appreciate it if you spoke."

"James," he whispered, "I am so sorry." He closed his eyes; he couldn't bring himself to look at him.

"There's nothing to apologize about, Moony," James said airily, waving his hand. "You did the best you could and that was more than enough. You never struck me as one for domestic life any way Moony. Lily's just upset that you never came back, and that's understandable. But she's happy you're back. Harry thinks the world of you."

"I'm sorry that I…" Remus glanced up at James, "I'm sorry that I took your place James. I wish it was me in that portrait and you here, alive."

James laughed, "Ah, Moony, I don't blame you for anything. Even for sleeping with my wife."

Remus went red, "I am sorry about that James, I was dru-."

"Didn't I say I don't blame you for anything? You're a great friend Moony, despite how life has treated you. Go to sleep."

Remus placed his hand on the portrait, he wished strongly that he could hug his friend. The unspoken words that passed in the silence and between their locked eyes were understood. Remus laid back down on the couch and pulled one of Lily's quilts over him.

"Thank you, Remus."

* * *

"Remus! You're back!" A huge weight landed on his stomach, waking him up and knocking the air out of him. His eyes opened and gazed up at Harry. He had grown so much in the two years that had passed. He looked exactly like James, who was still asleep in his portrait.

"Harry," Remus' voice was thick with sleep, "It's good to see you lad."

"Where have you been?"

"I've been doing a bit of business away for Professor Dumbledore," the lie came to him instantaneously as Harry stared down at him, "I'm going to be your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor this year."

Harry got off of him, looking down at him seriously, "I didn't mean to wake you up, Professor. I was just excited to see you."

Remus sat up, albeit slower than he usually did, "it's fine Harry. You were just excited." He smiled at him widely, "You don't have to call me 'Professor'. I'm just Remus, same as always."

Bright green eyes scanned his face, noticing the fresh pink scars on his neck and the increase of grey in his hair. The once youthful looking face of Remus Lupin seemed to have aged ten years, the wrinkles around his eyes had spread to his forehead. The bags under his eyes had darkened to bruises. _Yes, _Harry thought, _Life has definitely not been kind to him._

Remus stretched as Harry walked into the kitchen to help his mother with breakfast, chatting with James who had woken up. Lupin quietly slipped into the bathroom in his old room and was pleased to find a razor and shaving cream, though they were both covered with liberal amounts of dust. He only managed to nick himself once while shaving, which was an achievement as the blades always managed to get caught in the valleys of his scars. When he entered the kitchen, a plate of eggs and bacon was waiting for him. He ate with Lily and Harry, listening to the two of them talk. Remus was glad that term started tomorrow, sitting with them was uncomfortable. In years past, he would have felt like he was part of the family. Now he just felt like a stranger looking in through a window.


	12. Chapter 12

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

Dust formed a thin layer above the brown leather of his trunk. With a piece of cloth, Remus carefully wiped down his battered trunk. With a flick of his wand, it began to pack itself. They were leaving in an hour, he would board the Hogwarts Express for the first time since he was seventeen. The thought was exhilarating, but also frightening. _What if they don't like me? What if they find out my secret? _Remus shook his head, he couldn't think like this. He would do the best he could, like he always did. After all, he had always enjoyed Defense Against the Dark Arts. He would try to make it as enjoyable for them as it was for him.

Lily called his name just as he had finished packing. Taking one last look around the room, he was certain that this time he wasn't coming back. Not even for a visit. He didn't know where this sense of finality was coming from, and it scared him because he couldn't shake it.

Upon arriving at Platform 9 and ¾ , Remus quickly separated himself from Harry and Lily. He didn't want to embarrass Harry and he was certain that Lily didn't want to speak to him. He got onto the train, found an empty compartment and sat down with that morning's _Daily Prophet. _He glanced out the window as the conductor gave the all aboard. Lily stood before him, gazing at him. He met her gaze, and mouthed "I'm sorry."

She smiled sadly as the train began to move, and he just caught her lips moving to form the words _I know._

When Lily was out of sight, Remus opened up the newspaper and was instantly drawn to the headline. **_SUSPECTED MURDERER SIRIUS BLACK ON THE LOOSE. _**He had not spoken with Sirius in two years. His eyes scanned the article desperately, but he breathed a sigh of relief by the end of it. They thought he had killed Peter Pettigrew but Remus knew that Sirius had not done that. Nothing had changed; the Ministry had just decided to pin it on Sirius. Remus settled back into the cushioned seat and pulled his patched traveling cloak around him. He pulled out his flask of firewhiskey and took a long swallow before putting it away and letting the alcohol send him off into a hazy slumber.

* * *

Wand drawn, he thought of Lily and James, Sirius and Peter; he thought of the Marauders together again. _"Expecto Patronum!" _He watched as the ball of silver light struck the Dementor in the chest and sent it back into the hall. The lights flickered on in the compartment and Lupin looked around wildly. He saw Neville on the ground; unconscious. He sat the boy up anxiously and watched as he stirred. He could feel Harry and his friends' eyes on his back as he pulled a bar of Honeydukes' Finest Chocolate from his pocket and snapped off a large piece.

"What was that thing?" Neville asked shakily as Remus pressed the chocolate into his hand before standing.

"A Dementor, one of the guards of Azkaban. Presumably it was searching for Sirius Black. Eat the chocolate, you'll feel better. I'm going to go have a word with the driver."

Once outside of the compartment, Remus allowed himself to lean against the hall. Producing a Patronus took a lot out of him; he didn't have many happy memories to use to conjure one. Steadying himself, he traveled down the familiar corridors, seeing the frightened faces peering out of the windows. He knocked on the door to the driver's compartment before walking in.

"Ah, Remus, thank Merlin you were on the train. None of us knew how to combat a Dementor… You should tend to Agatha, she was in the corridor when the dementor got on the train. She… isn't well."

Remus walked over to where the trolley woman was sitting, he knelt in front of her. The old woman was pale, and her hands were shaking in her lap. Remus took her hands in his, looking up into her eyes.

"Hi Agatha, my name's Remus. I'm going to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts. What you just ran into was a Dementor. But you are fine, believe me."

"Did it… Make you feel like you would never be happy again?"

Her hands were warming in his, "Yes, Agatha. They tend to do that, but all you have to do is think of a happy memory, a truly happy memory. The incantation is _Expecto Patronum." _

He released her hands to pull out the slab of chocolate, listening as she spoke, "What do you think about, Remus?"

"Hmm," Remus handed her the chocolate, "Eat this, it will make you feel better." As the old woman ate, Remus stood, shoving the chocolate back into his pocket.

"I think of my closet friends, together and happy like they once were. It's how I like to remember them, even though things have changed. Without my friends having been in my life, I wouldn't have been here to comfort you. The memory has to be strong, and I find the strongest are the ones who focus on love. It always works, love does."

Remus looked over at the driver, "Are you alright?" The driver nodded and the train nodded. Remus patted Agatha's hand and she looked up at him kindly.

"Thank you."

His hand found the handle of the door, he smiled back at the elderly woman, "You are quite welcome Agatha. Good night." With that, Remus returned to his compartment.

Upon entering it, he noticed that Neville had yet to bite into the chocolate. "I haven't poisoned it, you know," he said as he sat back down. Neville took a hesitant bite into the chocolate and the color seemed to return to his face.

"Better?"

"Loads."

Remus nodded, leaning back in his seat, "We should be arriving at Hogwarts shortly. The Headmaster has already been informed of the incident."

"I heard a woman screaming," Neville blurted out, "A woman screaming my name."

Lupin ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily, "Dementors affect some people more than others. It's natural that they affect you a lot, given your past. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

* * *

Teaching at Hogwarts was a lot easier than Remus thought it would be. The only thing that distracted him was the fact that Sirius seemed to be coming closer and closer to Hogwarts. Dumbledore wasn't worried; he knew that Sirius was innocent. However, he couldn't stop the Ministry from putting Dementors on the grounds. Remus had a large stock of chocolate on him at all times, as several students had fainted.

Albus had taken him down to the Chamber of Secrets at the beginning of term, allowing Remus to inspect the fast decaying corpse of the Basilisk.

"Neville fought this all on his own?"

"Well, Harry and Ronald Weasley were down here with him. They were both injured, and Tom Riddle appeared from the diary-."

"A young Lord Voldemort appeared from a _diary?_"

"It's curious, I know. I've been studying the diary, there are obvious traces of Dark Magic, but I haven't been able to figure it out. As I was saying, Neville spoke with this apparition of Tom Riddle. Apparently, he had been possessing young Ginny Weasley throughout the year with the diary. He had intended to kill Ginny, but Neville saved her. Riddle released the Basilisk, Neville stabbed it through the head with the sword of Godric Gryffindor."

Remus knelt in front of the giant snake and with a bit of exertion, opened its mouth wider. He peered into the head and saw the stab wound.

"Luckily, Fawkes was there to cry on Neville's wound, or he could have died."

"Kid just can't catch a break," Remus muttered as he looked at the huge fangs.

"Whatever happened to the rest of his family, Albus?"

Dumbledore sighed and stroked his beard as Remus got to his feet, "They were all murdered by Death Eaters prior to Frank and Alice's death. Voldemort eliminated all of the Longbottoms, in a roundabout way, except for Neville."

Remus rubbed his dirty hands on the front of his threadbare grey trousers. He followed Albus up out of the Chamber of Secrets, they paused at the door that had remained open since the Basilisk had been slain.

"You know, I think we should close this." With a wave of Dumbledore's wand, the stone door closed and the snakes slid into place.

* * *

Remus was growing weary, winter was upon them and Sirius was drawing ever nearer to Hogwarts. Lupin didn't know why Sirius wasn't staying in one place and hiding, why he insisted on coming to Hogwarts. Every owl he sent on the hunt for Sirius came back unopened, they just couldn't find him. Lupin was becoming desperate, he couldn't lose his last friend. Remus had caught Neville out of bed, having a run in with Snape. Lupin was shocked to see that Neville had the Marauder's Map, and he had taken it on the spot.

That night, he sat down in his bed and pressed his wand to the parchment, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Memories rushed back to him as ink covered the parchment. Scanning the map, he found the pathways and corridors that he used to frequent as a boy with his friends. His eyes glanced over the Gryffindor boy's dormitory and the parchment fluttered down to the sheets as his eyes went wide. Peter Pettigrew was walking around the boy's dormitory. Grabbing his wand, he got out of bed and crept through the passageways until he reached the Fat Lady. Her portrait was empty. He growled in frustration, pacing around to the other portraits looking for her.

"Lupin! What are you doing out of bed?"

Remus jumped at the sharp tone of Minerva McGonagall, whirring around to see her standing with her wand lit, and wrapped in a tartan dressing gown.

"I uh…" Remus couldn't think of an excuse, "I didn't know that there was a curfew for professors, _Minerva_."

McGonagall narrowed her eyes, her cheeks were flushed, "Oh, yes that is true… It slipped my mind. Of course, if you were still a student you would not be going anywhere without Potter and Black. That still doesn't change the fact that you are standing outside of the Gryffindor common room at two in the morning."

"Restless," he muttered, "with the full moon coming up and all. Can never sleep. I noticed the Fat Lady was gone and stopped to see if she was around nearby. Given the fact that Sirius Black is on the loose, I think it would be wise to have someone in the portrait."

McGonagall's eyes narrowed still, "Very well, I'll inform the Headmaster of your thoughts." _She doesn't trust me,_ he thought, _she doesn't know that Sirius is innocent. She doesn't know that somehow, Peter is in the castle. She thinks I'm trying to let Sirius into the castle._

"Good night, Professor." He quickly returned to his room, not wanting to be under her judgmental gaze for a moment longer.

"Sirius is coming to Hogwarts," he spoke to himself as he lay down in the bed, "He is coming to Hogwarts because he knows Peter is here. I have to help him." As he closed his eyes, he thought of Lily, and resolved to send her an owl in the morning.


	13. Chapter 13

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

His feet slid over wet grass like he was flying, flying down the hills towards the Whomping Willow. He had been pouring over the Marauder's Map before he saw it, Sirius Black on the grounds; disappearing into the Whomping Willow with Ron Weasely and Peter Pettigrew, followed by Neville Longbottom, Harry Potter, and Hermione Granger. He had left his full cup of Wolfsbane potion on his desk, forgotten. Reaching the Willow, he shot a spell at the knot in the trunk and watched as the tree froze.

He dived down the hole, his feet carrying him faster than he had ever run in his life. He sprinted up the stairs of the Shrieking Shack and shoved the door open, his wand drawn.

"_Expelliarmus_!" Neville, Harry, and Hermione's wands flew into his hand. Hermione screamed.

"NOT YOU!"

Remus' eyes were wild as he walked over to Ron, looking at his injured leg before looking at Sirius.

"Where is he Sirius? Where's Peter?"

"You're mad!" Harry cried as he watched Remus pull his godfather into an embrace.

Ignoring him, Remus spoke to Sirius alone, "I'm afraid everyone thinks you are a murder, Sirius. Even Harry has been converted by the thoughts of his classmates. But not me. Where's Peter?"

Sirius looked awful, his handsome face had thinned out to sharp bones and bruises. "It's his rat!"

Ron scrambled back on the floor, wincing. Remus reached down and pulled the rat out of the boy's hands.

"Well, they might think I'm a murderer, but after tonight I will be one," Sirius muttered darkly.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione shouted as she and Harry knelt beside Ron. Neville was staring at the two of them with fury in his eyes.

"You see, Ron. Your rat isn't a rat. It's a human, named Peter Pettigrew."

"Peter Pettigrew is dead," Neville snarled, "You killed him."

Remus shook his head, "Peter gave your parents away, just as he did Harry's. He ran into your parents in a small village after Voldemort had killed James. Voldemort already knew that you fit into the prophecy, but your parents had disappeared. They didn't use a Fidelius charm, which is why Peter was able to tell his master exactly where they were; isn't that right Peter?" Remus squeezed the rat harder in his hand, watching its eyes bulge.

"Together?"

"Together." Sirius agreed.

"_Expelliarmus!" _The wands flew from Remus' hand onto the floor and the rat landed back in Ron's lap, who grabbed it before it could scurry away.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Black and Lupin. I did warn Dumbledore that you would try to help an old friend into the castle."

"Ah, Snivellus, you can never keep your huge nose out of things, can you," Sirius snarled. "Dumbledore knows I'm innocent, but I won't be after to-."

"Be quiet, Sirius," Remus urged.

"Be quiet yourself," Sirius quipped sardonically.

"How sweet, bickering like an old married couple." Snape smirked, "Can't wait to see Lupin's face when you get the Dementor's Kiss, Black."

"_Stupefy!"_

_"Expelliarmus!"_

_"Petrificus Totalus!"_

Remus watched as Snape was knocked back by the three spells onto the dusty bed. The three wands were then turned on Lupin, Hermione, Neville, and Harry looking at him seriously.

"Explain," Neville demanded.

"I'm a werewolf. I was bitten as a boy. The transformations were painful, and I was alone. Professor Dumbledore somehow managed to convince my pare- Yes Professor Dumbledore is aware of my condition, Ms. Granger. He managed to convince my parents to allow me to attend Hogwarts. There I met James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. You might know us better as Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs."

Neville's eyes lit up with recognition, "But those are the blokes that made the map that Fred and George gave to me!"

Remus almost smiled, "Yes. We were the Marauders, we made that map… Anyway, they became Animagi-."

"But that's illegal!" Remus stared down at his feet as Hermione trilled.

"I know it is, but they wouldn't listen to reason. They stayed with me during my transformations once they found out who- what I was. Your father, Harry, was a stag. Sirius is a dog. And Peter…" Remus pointed to the rodent in Ron's hands, "Peter is a rat."

"He betrayed your parents, Harry! How could it be me, when your mother is still my friend? How could I have killed Peter Pettigrew when-."

"But all that was left of him was his finger," Hermione blurted.

"Remarkable, isn't it," Remus murmured, "How could the only thing remaining of Peter be a finger if he was murdered. The Ministry didn't do a particularly good job investigating it. What do they think, Sirius, that you blasted him with a spell so strong that his entire body was vaporized except for his finger? Come now Hermione, you're the brightest one in your year, can't you see that the whole premise of the investigation is faulty?"

"Remus I grow tired of the explaining!" Sirius snarled, advancing towards Ron, "Look at the rat's hand, it's missing a finger on its paw! There is a simple spell that we can do, we just require wands. If it's not Peter, the spell will be harmless."

Neville studied Remus for a long time, his brown eyes searching. He held out two wands in his hand, Remus' and Snape's. Remus passed Snape's to Sirius.

"I'll do the spell, you make sure he doesn't get away," Remus intoned. He pointed his wand at the rat held in Ron's hands, ignoring the boy's frightened face. He murmured the incantation and watched as the rat flew from the red-head's hands.

He and Sirius blasted spells at the rapidly transforming half-rat, half-human form. Sirius yelled and a flash of red light hit Pettigrew just as he was wiggling through a hole. Remus watched as Pettigrew returned to human form. Disgust filled him as he regarded the creature that he had once called a friend. He and Sirius heaved Pettigrew out of the wall and into the opposite wall. They moved like dancers, every move in sync and almost choreographed. Wands raised, they pointed them directly at Pettigrew's frightened face.

"Sirius, Remus! My old friends!" Pettigrew's twitchy face fashioned what must have been an attempt at a smile. Sirius roared and threw him back against the wall with immense force.

"HOW DARE YOU CALL US YOUR FRIENDS! YOU BETRAYED LILY AND JAMES, JAMES IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Peter licked his lips, glancing between the two men before him, "Sirius, Remus, you have to understand. The Dark Lord, he was becoming powerful and I couldn't fight back. What was I supposed to do?"

"Die!" Sirius was livid, "I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN BETRAY MY FRIENDS!"

Peter glanced around and saw Harry and Neville, "Listen to me boys, I was good friends with your parents, I-"

"Sold them out to Voldemort," Remus interrupted, thinking of James and Frank and Alice. "You should have realized," Remus spoke quietly, looking into Pettigrew's eyes, "That if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Goodbye Peter."

Sirius and Remus raised their wands, and spoke in unison, "Ava-."

"Wait!" Neville shouted, "Don't kill him."

Harry nodded in agreement, "He deserves the Death Eaters."

Lupin walked over to check on Snape as Sirius muttered threats at Peter, keeping his wand on him.

"You kids certainly knocked dear old Snape out," Remus announced as he checked the Potion Master's pulse. With a sigh, he levitated Snape and moved him out of the bed to hover over the dusty floorboards.

"You ready to go?" When Sirius nodded, Remus helped Ron to his feet, putting his arm over his shoulders. Harry came to Ron's other side and supported him. Carefully, the strange group made their way back up towards the grounds of Hogwarts. Remus took to the front with Harry and Ron. Hermione levitated Snape in the middle. Sirius and Peter brought up the rear, followed by Neville who kept his wand pointed at Peter.

Remus took a deep sniff of the night air once they walked out of the passage. He paused a few steps out, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. Something seemed off, he couldn't quite place it until… _Kill_ growled a voice in his head, _Kill humans. _With a whimper, his brown eyes found the full moon; his worse fear. The image of the steaming potion on his desk came to his mind, he hadn't taken it.

"Sirius," he choked out as he dropped his wand, his body seizing with pain.

"Remus!" Sirius let go of Peter and ran to his friend, grabbing him by the shoulders, "Did you take your potion tonight?!" Pettigrew seized the opportunity to transform back into rat form and scurry away.

Lupin let out a scream as his bones cracked, his skin stretching, trying to contend with the massive transformation his body was undergoing. Vaguely, through the loud buzzing in his ears, he could hear his shoes being torn apart by his feet. _I liked those loafers_ he thought dully. And then, the pain subsided and he faded to the back of his body. No longer was he in control.

* * *

His eye twitched as he heard raised voices. He registered Snape's voice and what sounded like Dumbledore. Lupin had never heard Dumbledore yell like he was now.

"Severus," his voice thundered, "You had no right! I hired Remus, being fully aware of his condition, you can't let petty childhood grudges ruin a man's life."

_I think I've been sacked_, Remus thought as he heard Snape's oily tone.

"Well Headmaster, the parents were not aware of his condition, I was doing my duty."

Dumbledore made a dismissive noise before entering the Hospital Wing. His blue eyes gazed at the man who was occupying the bed farthest away from the door. The moon had not been kind to Remus, new cuts and scrapes adorned his body like tattoos. Lupin's dark brown eyes flickered open to meet Dumbledore's gaze.

"Albus," his voice was hoarse, "So I'm being given the sack, am I?"

"You heard all of that?" Dumbledore asked as he sat beside Lupin's bed.

"It is not a problem, Albus. I didn't deserve this job anyway, given what I am. I was a danger to everyone."

"You're human, Remus. Every human has a right to-."

Remus put up his hands, "I disagree with you, Albus, but I do not wish to argue. There is nothing you or I could do about this situation, and I do not blame you for letting me go. I'll just roam around until I find something to do. Where is Sirius?" He finally was able to ask the question that had been in the back of his mind since he woke up.

"I'm afraid," Dumbledore's voice was soft, "I'm afraid Sirius has gone into hiding. Pettigrew escaped the moment you transformed. Luckily, both Sirius and Professor Snape were able to protect the children from the wolf. However, given that the evidence was gone, Sirius had no choice but to escape on a winged friend with the help of Neville, Hermione, and Harry. He said you would know where to go to find him. I assume he meant Grimmauld Place."

Remus nodded, allowing it all to sink in. Sirius was a convict, a 'murderer' on the run. And there was nothing he could do about it to fix the situation. Dumbledore patted him on the shoulder.

"Minerva wanted to apologize. I informed her of the situation after she saw the state of you and the children. She told me she hadn't been treating you as well as she used to when you were a boy."

Remus waved his hand flippantly, "Professor McGonagall can do no wrong in my book."

Dumbledore smiled, 'I shall tell her that you said that. If you will excuse me Remus, I have to meet with the Board of Governors and it is just nearing noon. I bid you good day."

The werewolf watched as Dumbledore exited the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey offered him a potion for his pain, which he politely declined. The pain-relief potion had always made him feel ill; he would rather deal with the pain. Settling back on his pillows, he gazed out the window opposite his bed and wondered where the future would take him. He had no home and no job. Once again, the feeling of hopelessness began to crush him like a weight; he struggled to push back against it. _I'll manage_, he thought, _I __**have **__to._


	14. Chapter 14

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

"I'm stuck here in this rotting house while my godson gets to go to the sodding Quidditch World Cup! Why couldn't I have gone as Snuffles?"

Remus sipped at the tea he had just prepared, "You know full well why you can't go, Padfoot. There is always the chance that someone may recognize you."

"So I'm stuck listening to it on the bleeding radio! I'm always stuck," Sirius muttered bitterly, "No Sirius, you can't go out of this house. No Sirius, you can't come to Hogwarts. No Sirius, you can't even run to the sodding store for some sodding toilet paper."

Remus was quite used to Sirius' whining; he had been staying at Grimmauld Place since he had left Hogwarts as a sacked professor. Sirius had a rant about not being able to leave typically once a day; the smallest things could set him off. Today it was the Quidditch World Cup.

"Dumbledore said he's invited some people round for dinner tonight, said he wants to restart the Order of the Phoenix."

"Dunno why," Sirius grumbled, "Voldemort isn't exactly back is he? Neville defeated him again when he was attached to Quirrell, or whatever the hell was going on. Who'd Dumbledore invite?"

Remus closed his eyes, recollecting the names, "Only a few, McGonagall, Shacklebolt, Lily, and…" he hesitated, "Nymphadora Tonks."

"Excellent!" Sirius sat up in his chair, "I can properly introduce you to her."

Remus' ears went red, "That won't be necessary, Sirius. I doubt she will want to talk to me anyway."

"Why's that, Rem?" Sirius grinned at him, "Who couldn't be attracted to your cardigans and handkerchiefs?"

"They come in handy," Remus huffed, "I'm a lot older than her."

"Age is just a number, mate."

"I'm dangerous."

"Come off it, you wear sweaters and read poetry for Christsakes."

"You know full well how I am dangerous, Sirius. I could injure her, hurt her, kill her. I can't do that to someone. I'm more trouble than I'm worth. Anyway, she's probably got some bloke already."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Ten Galleons says she'll fall head over heels for you."

To humor him, Remus decided to go along with it, even though he didn't have two Sickles to rub together, "You're on."

* * *

Kreacher had prepared a passable dinner of beef stew for them that evening. Remus was only half listening to McGonagall and Shacklebolt as they spoke of the Order. Lily had made small talk with him when she had arrived but he had been too distracted to give her any proper answers. His focus was more on the young woman with pink hair, who was sitting across from him and making a statue out of the chunks of beef from her bowl. Remus admired her slight hands, the curve of her neck. He was smitten without having said a word to her aside from 'hello'.

"And what do you think, Remus?" McGonagall's sharp tone brought him back to the present, but reminded him of being told off as a boy.

"Er…" He rubbed the back of his neck, "Can you repeat the question please?"

McGonagall gave him a sharp look, "Ten points from Gryffindor." Everyone at the table laughed, even Remus himself. He watched as Tonks laughed, looking beautiful as ever.

"If Dumbledore thinks it is necessary," Remus said after they had stopped laughing, "Then I think it is necessary as well. Dumbledore is typically right about this sort of thing."

Once dinner was over, McGonagall and Shacklebolt left, not staying around for coffee or tea. Lily sat down in the sitting room; she didn't want to go home to an empty cottage just yet. Tonks watched as Remus carried the plates to the kitchen. Sirius retired upstairs to feed Buckbeak. The pink haired woman took the opportunity to slip into the kitchen.

* * *

"Wotcher, Remus." She watched as Lupin jumped, the plate in his hands clattering into the sink. He turned to face her, his cheeks red from embarrassment.

"Ah, Tonks, I didn't know you had decided to stay."

An awkward silence hung in the air before Remus recovered, "Can I get you anything to drink? We have tea and coffee, and firewhiskey," he added as an afterthought.

"Tea would be lovely, if you don't mind."

He smiled at her, which set the butterflies in her stomach free from their cage, "I don't mind at all."

His focus was on the tea; he dropped the tea bag in and set the kettle to boil.

"So, Remus…" She sat up on the counter, "McGonagall said you used to teach at Hogwarts?"

"Oh yes, last year I did. Defense Against the Dark Arts. I hear you graduated recently?"

"If you call two years recent, I'm twenty now. I feel quite old," she laughed. "I'm well on my way through Auror training though. Almost there, Mad-Eye said in a few months I'll graduate and he'll put in a word for me about being hired into his old team with the Ministry, meaning I'd be working with Shacklebolt."

"Wow, an Auror. That's a brilliant achievement."

"And what about you, Remus, what do you do?"

The tips of his ears flushed; the inevitable question. Normally, when someone asked this question, he would lie. For her, he decided to be evasive.

"Well, after leaving Hogwarts last year, I've been doing odd jobs really. I've never found my calling, I never really had one career that I wanted to do as a kid, except, well," his ears flushed to a darker pink.

"Go on," she prompted with a grin, "Promise I won't laugh, no matter how ridiculous."

He poured the tea into the two mugs he had set out, "As a boy, I really wanted to be a Healer. To be able to help people, to make sure they don't hurt anymore." He was stirring the teabags rapidly, watching the liquid darken. "To **cure **them, to **fix** them." He tossed the spoon and teabags into the sink, slightly more forceful than usual.

Tonks was looking at his back with pity in her eyes, ready to erase that from her gaze as soon as he turned around.

"Of course that all fell to shit- pardon my language, fell to pieces when I was old enough to realize that I would never be able to hold a proper job. This happened during my fifth year, when Professor McGonagall interviewed us all about what we wanted to do with our lives, so that we could decide which courses we should take. I sat in her office in silence for at least a minute before she asked me what I wanted to do. A Healer, I said. 'Remus.' That's the first time I had ever heard her use my first name, y'know, that's how I knew something was up. 'Remus,' she said, 'Given your condition, I'm afraid it would be impossible for you to become a Healer… I'm afraid it would be impossible for you to become anything.' The milk sloshed out of the jug and onto the counter, his hands were shaking as he was recollecting. Quickly, he recovered and wiped down the granite counter tops with a rag before handing her the mug of tea.

"So now I do whatever Dumbledore asks me to do, and I keep an eye on Sirius." He tried to wipe the bitterness from his tone but failed, it was still there, though slightly less noticeable.

"The Ministry shouldn't make it so that it's impossible for you to live your life," Tonks said as she blew over the top of her tea, "Especially since you were bitten as a boy, you have no control over that! If you want to be a Healer, than you should be a Healer. You are human, and they can't stop you from doing what you want."

Remus had no interest in the tea he had prepared for himself, talking about his past had put him off. He smiled again at her, and she blushed slightly, drinking her tea to busy herself.

"That's very kind of you to say, Tonks. However, Cornelius Fudge does not agree, and there is nothing I can do about that. Living here with Sirius isn't bad either; it's like being a boy again." He looked around wistfully, remembering how the house as it had been when he had visited occasionally as a boy. Sirius would tell his mother that Remus was a halfblood, but was related, distantly, to Salazar Slytherin (which was a complete lie). She allowed the boys to play and never found out about Remus' condition, believing that he had been attacked by dogs as a boy.

Tonks set her empty mug down in the sink and glanced at him, some of the pink fading out of her hair as she cleared her throat nervously, "You'll be here for a while then?"

"I should think so," Remus glanced back at her. She smiled.

"Good, I wanted to make sure I could see you again. I have to go now though, because I have to be up early in the morning for training or m'boss will have my head."

Remus nodded, "I'd like to see you again too, Nymphadora." He froze, the name had just slipped out of his mouth, he knew she didn't like being called by her first name. _Son of a-_

"Coming out of your mouth, Remus, my name sounds pretty for the first time." She flashed him a cheeky grin, "Thanks for the tea."

"No p-problem." He stuttered, and she was out of the kitchen. He heard her shout goodbye to Sirius before there was the loud crack of disapparation.

* * *

Lupin exited the kitchen once he had recovered from the flirts he had so openly exchanged with the woman. He had never been that bold before, it felt liberating. He stopped as he saw the shadow of someone sitting on the couch.

"Sirius?" He asked, but it couldn't be Sirius; he didn't have… red hair.

"Forgotten all about me, haven't you?" Lily said bitterly as she stared at the man before her, "So wrapped up in this _fixation _of yours that you didn't bother to check on me."

"That's not fair on me," Lupin's voice had lowered, "It's like you're jealous of my chance at happiness."

"Of course I'm jealous, Remus! My husband is dead!"

Rage filled him, pure rage. He had never felt this angry before in his life, and it came upon him so quickly that he felt rather ill and dizzy.

"YOU HAD A CHANCE WITH ME," he roared, "BUT YOU GAVE THAT UP!"

Sirius came running down the stairs, "Moony, why on Earth are you shouting?"

"Oh, are you trying to get with her to make me jealous?" Lily snarled.

"No," Remus snarled right back, "I'm trying to 'get with her' because she fascinates me, and I'm smitten by her. I'm sorry about James Lily, I truly am. And I'm sorry I just brought up our past, I didn't mean it, and you know I don't. I just…" He stared down at his shaking hands, his heart still thumping wildly in his chest like it was a bird in a cage. Sirius was staring at his two friends from the foot of the stairs. "I just don't want to end up alone."

Lily's gaze softened instantly, "Oh Remus."

"She's truly wonderful. And I'm not saying that we're even going to go beyond the first date. I don't mind. I just want to try."

She hugged him tightly, "I'm sorry I'm such a jealous cow."

He laughed, but it was a strangled sort of sound, "No you're not Lily, I understand. Sorry I yelled at you." They broke apart.

"Well, that was bloody bizarre," Sirius announced as he looked at the two of them. "Remus, mate, never heard you lose your temper like that before. And then to make up two seconds later."

Remus shrugged, pulling at a thread coming loose from his sweater absentmindedly, the nausea growing stronger.

"Well, I'd best be going," Lily said as she kissed Sirius on the cheek. She glanced at Remus.

"Go on Lily," he grinned at her, "I'm not going to-", the grin faded, "bite you."

She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, and when she pulled away there were tears in her eyes.

"Thank you for dinner, Sirius." As she spoke, her voice wavered and tears streamed down her cheeks. With that, she disapparated.

"Women!" Sirius proclaimed, plopping down on the couch, "Never have understood them."

Remus made a sound of agreement before retiring to his bedroom. _Lily is upset because she lost James; perhaps she was able to connect with me most because I have lost everyone too. Except Sirius, of course. _He closed his eyes and thought of candy-floss colored hair, a ghost of a grin passing over his lips as he drifted off to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: of course I'm not procrastinating on my school work what o are you suggesting?**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. **

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

Remus remembered the panic that followed in the morning. Death Eaters had returned, and tortured Muggles. No one knew why, but the Dark Mark had been cast. Sirius had paced around the house angrily, Remus could recall his words.

"If I had gone with Harry, he would never have been in danger."

"No," Remus replied quickly, "The Death Eaters would have tortured you instead, maybe you would have ended up dead too. Think about it, Sirius, Harry is fine-."

"The Death Eaters still have a grudge against him, he should be dead too, they think. He sent me a letter asking about Neville's scar this summer. Said Neville's scar had hurt. The last time that had happened, Voldemort had been near him."

"Preposterous," Remus scoffed, "Voldemort can't be back Sirius. The events at the Quidditch World Cup were pure coincidence. Dumbledore said it himself, the Death Eaters were not planning for the Dark Mark to be in the air, they panicked when they saw it. We don't know who cast the Mark, and until we do, we can't go worrying that Voldemort's back."

Sirius had ignored him for the rest of the day after calling him an insensitive prick. Harry was due back at Hogwarts now, and the full moon was a week away. Remus dreaded the day, the week up to the full moon was awful too. Sirius had to ask Kreacher to prepare more food, as Remus scarfed down everything that was thrown in front of him ("How dare Master Sirius keep such a creature in the noble house of Black. Oh, my Mistress would be appalled"). Sirius would give him a prompt kick up the rear and threaten him with clothes, and Remus would watch as the elf would slowly make his way to the kitchen. Remus didn't particularly care for how Sirius treated Kreacher. He was always rather fond of elves, they were in a similar position as him. Wizards despised them, treating them as inferiors; even though they were unique individuals. Even though Kreacher probably hated him, Remus made it a point to be kind to the elf.

* * *

On the day of the full moon, Sirius slid a goblet on the table. Remus looked down at the steaming liquid, his stomach churning.

"From our old pal, Snivellus. Dumbledore asked him to brew up a batch of Wolfsbane for you."

Remus flushed, "I don't need it, I'm fine without it."

"Dumbledore doesn't want you to beat yourself up anymore, mate. I think he's actually trying to cut you some slack, combat what fate has dealt you." Sirius sat next to him, using his usual tactic to get Remus to drink the potion.

"You said it yourself, Rem, the potion makes you feel better about transitioning. It keeps you from hurting anyone, and keeps you from destroying my mum's wine stock. Not that there's much and not that I mind. It keeps you what you want to be, mate. Human."

Remus looked at him with a scowl, "and how's that?"

"It's like you're an Animagus. You still think like you, you still are you. Just in a different body. How cool is that!? And you don't have to do all the dumbass paper work I had to do, or rather, chose not to do."

Remus finally smiled, Sirius did have a point. Though he found it rather odd being in the wolf's body, he could control it. With a grimace, he chugged the potion back until it was gone. He closed his eyes as his stomach settled, feeling like it was weighed down with lead. When the time came, Sirius led him down the stone steps to the wine-cellar.

Pushing back heavy stone doors with a spell, he revealed a bare cavern, holding only a few bottles of wine. Remus paced around before pulling off his clothes with utter impunity. Sirius had seen him naked during every single transition since he was a boy, so he didn't much care. Handing his clothes and his wand to Sirius, he ran a shaky hand through his hair.

"No one's due to come over, right?"

"Well, actually, Tonks said she might pop by in the morning. I'm not quite sure that she's realized that it's a full moon but you'll be alright to come up in the morning." Anxiety entered his friend's blue gaze, "Won't you?"

"Of course I will." His heart started thumping faster in his chest, "You'd better go. It's starting in a few minutes." His head was throbbing; usually the intense migraines that accompanied the transition brought him to tears.

"Mind the bottles," Sirius said with a grin as he backed up and shut the doors.

"See you in the morning," came Sirius' muffled voice.

"Don't forget to charm the door," Remus raised his voice, "I don't want you hearing what goes on down here."

"Way ahead of you mate," was Sirius' reply. With that, there was nothing but silence and the sound of his own blood pumping in his ears.

The stone was cold against his feet; he shivered, wishing he had kept his socks on. _That would only ruin a good pair of socks_, he mused.

He cried out suddenly, hunching over as the dull throbbing turned into a sharp pain. He heard the cracking of his own bones as they broke and re-fused together to form a new shape. Long canines tore at his lips, causing blood to trickle down his chin. He felt like he was on fire, fur sprouting from his skin and claws growing from his fingers and toes. His spine cracked, his hands- paws now- reaching down to touch the floor. Tears streamed from his brown eyes that soon turned a jet black. The transformation was complete.

_Merlin, that hurt_ he thought as he padded around the cell. His headache subsided after a few minutes. The moon passed quietly until around three in the morning. With a start, the wolf lifted its head from the floor. Remus was in the back seat of his mind, trying desperately to be in control. The wolf tore and scratched at itself, breaking a bottle of the wine; a shard of glass sinking inbetween its ribs. It howled and collapsed in the liquid. Remus was back in control and was finding it difficult to breathe. _Has it punctured my lung? _The wolf's eyes rolled into the back of its head, wine trickling into its slack mouth.

* * *

"Remus?! Shit, the wine- Oh Merlin, no!" Sirius Black exclaimed as he saw his friend, lying in a pool of his own blood and looking deathly pale. Carefully rolling him over, he noticed the huge shard of glass sticking out of his side. Drawing his wand, Sirius began to murmur incantations, removing the glass and healing the undoubtedly punctured lung that sat beneath the scarred flesh of his friend. He healed the deepest wound and paid no attention to the minor cuts and scrapes, more worried about the fact that Remus was still. And not breathing.

"_Rennervate_!" Sirius cried, a jet of light hitting Remus in the chest. Lupin sat bolt upright, his eyes wide and a shout escaping from his mouth; followed by a stream of wine and desperate, hacking coughs. He took a deep breath, inhaling the oxygen like it was the last he would ever have.

"Christ, Remus, what happened?"

"I don't know," his voice was hoarse as he ran a hand over his face, "at one point I just lost control. The wolf took over and I'm really sorry about your mother's wi-."

"God's sake Remus, I don't care about my mother's wine! I care about the fact that the potion didn't work and it didn't stop you from hurting yourself. I care about the fact that you weren't breathing!"

Remus rubbed his eyes, his head was throbbing and Sirius' harsh tone was not helping matters. He put his arm over Sirius' shoulders and got to his feet slowly.

"D'you mind having Kreacher make me some toast or something? I feel a bit off." Sirius helped Remus into a dining room chair, wrapping him up in a blanket before going to get Kreacher.

As the kitchen door creaked open, Lupin glanced over at it, "Well, I didn't think that Kreacher wo- Oh. Hello Tonks." She had her familiar pink hair but her eyes were larger and brown as opposed to the familiar blue. He flushed, glancing down at his bloody chest and bruised skin, glad that the blanket was wrapped around his waist.

"Remus… What happened?" Her voice was concerned as she sat down next to him. Sirius sauntered in, carrying a tray of food above his head before setting it in front of Remus and bowing low.

"Breakfast, Your Majesty," Sirius announced with a chuckle in his voice.

"Sod off," Remus grumbled as he spooned scrambled eggs into his mouth, feeling ravenously hungry.

"Hi Tonks," Sirius said cheerfully, snatching a piece of Remus' toast before sitting down.

"It was a full moon last night, Tonks," Remus muttered tiredly as he lost his appetite, ashamed that she had to see him like this. "I had a bit of a rough night."

Sirius dropped his piece of toast down on the table, "What if Snivellus purposefully didn't make the potion as strong!? I'm going to Dumbledore-."

"You can't go anywhere, Sirius. Dumbledore's got enough on his plate, given that he's got the Triwizard Tournament coming up?"

"How did you know about that Remus?" Tonks asked curiously. _Bugger,_ Remus thought, _That was supposed to be a secret. _

"Dumbledore mentioned it to me," Remus said off-handedly. Sirius looked mutinous.

"That old blighter! Doesn't mention a bloody word to me!"

Remus' headache was making a comeback, he closed his eyes tightly as stars danced across his vision, "Didn't want to get you all worked up…"

"Remus?" Tonk's voice sounded far away, "Remus are you alright?" When he didn't answer, she turned to Sirius, "I think he needs to go lie down." When Sirius offered to take him up, she shook her head, "No, you need to send an owl to Dumbledore about Snape. It could very well be that he's trying to poison Remus. I'll get him sorted."

Remus' head lolled back as she levitated him, his eyes closed. It's a good thing he was asleep, because he would have been mortified to know that the blanket had fallen off. Tonks smiled to herself as she thought of him in this situation if he was awake. The smile was wiped off her face as she caught a glimpse of his skin in the light as she climbed the stairs. The scars varied in shape and color. She noticed the bite scar on his shoulder, it was white and stretched; it had grown as he had. Lowering him down onto his bed, she tucked him in under the sheets. Her hand came up to absentmindedly stroke his cheek before she caught herself. _Stop. You are just friends. _Backing away from the bed as quietly as she could, she took one last look at the exhausted man looking so small on the bed before shutting the door quietly.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: In light of today's new movie news, let's have an update to make today even better.**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

Sirius didn't bother telling Remus that Tonks had been the one to put him to bed, and months passed by slowly and quietly. Sirius would have his outbursts and then disappear up to the room that he kept Buckbeak in, not coming down until dinner. Tonks came over often, giving Remus the opportunity to learn more about her and form a steadfast friendship with her. Sirius came running down the stairs on the 1st of November with a letter clenched in his hand.

"Neville's name has been drawn out of the Goblet of Fire! He's fourteen, and they are making him participate." Sirius looked furious, "The boy won't last through the first challenge, he hasn't got the knowledge."

"You'd be surprised," Remus said as he continued to iron his button up shirts, "Neville is a lot like Frank and Alice. He's got Frank's bravery and Alice's know-how. I wouldn't be surprised if he wins it."

"He didn't put his name in, Moony. Someone put his name in. What if someone wants him dead, what if that someone is Voldemort? What if Peter's brought him back like he would, after seeing Neville alive?"

"You're over-reaching," Remus said firmly. "We'd know if Voldemort was back, people would be dying, disappearing, like they were before. You just are trying to wind me up so that I let you out of the house."

"I'M SICK OF BEING STUCK!" Sirius knocked over the ironing board, Remus made a noise in his throat as he attempted to get his shirt that was now on the ground but Sirius had pushed him up against the wall.

"You are going to take me out of this house right now. We are going to the store, and I'm going to pick out my own food for a change."

Remus' eyes were on the shirt on the ground that had a hole being burned through it from the iron, "No."

"Why?!" Sirius let go of him, Remus took the chance to pick up his ruined shirt and turn the iron off.

"Because, I don't want you in Azkaban, or dead. I couldn't live if you died, Sirius. You're my last friend."

"What about Tonks," Sirius said gruffly.

Remus focused on the hole in his shirt, blushing, "Well, she's different."

Sirius noticed the shirt, "I'm sorry about that Moony. You've had this shirt since we were boys though, so I think it's time to retire it. Next time you go shopping for new clothes, I'll foot the bill." He leaned down and picked up the ironing board, feeling guilty about his reaction.

"It's alright, Pads. You are upset, it's understandable. Erm…" He rubbed the back of his neck, "Nymphadora is coming over for dinner in a few hours, and I need to get cleaned up."

"You're going to kiss her, aren't you?" Sirius grinned at him, "Moony's gonna swap spit with my cousin."

"Shut up," Remus grumbled, "No I'm not going to kiss her. I don't deserve her, and I'm not going to force her into a romantic relationship with something like me."

"Mate, you aren't something, you're someone. If she wants to be with you, give her a shot."

"She'll end up dead, mark my words."

"Moony, you are so morbid. You'll owe me the ten Galleons once you kiss tonight." Sirius punched him on the shoulder, "Try not to use too much tongue."

"Ugh, Sirius."

* * *

Dinner was wonderful with Tonks. Every time he sat down with her, he felt like he was young again. He would be turning 35 this year, but with Tonks he felt like he was 21. She drew laughter out of him merely by glancing at him. Remus stood to take her empty plate, she grabbed him by his tie (blue, Sirius had picked it while fake sobbing, 'My little Moony is all grown up') and kissed him. The kiss was soft and curious, better than any kiss Remus had ever gotten from Lily. He set her plate down so that he could run a hand through her pink hair that was growing brighter by the second.

Remus pulled away, inhaling sharply, feeling dizzy. Kissing her was like drinking a bottle of firewhiskey in one go. She was grinning at him; he sank down into the seat beside her.

"I guess I owe Sirius ten Galleons," he said dumbly as he stared at the beautiful woman before him. "I'd like very much to kiss you again, if that would be alright with you."

Tonks reached her arm over and rested her hand against his stubbled cheek, "Ever the gentleman, Remus."

"I take that as a yes, Dora?"

Her lips pressed against his, he pulled her into his arms. He felt her fingernails run against his scalp, which was a very pleasant feeling indeed.

"Where do you keep your wallet, Remus?" Sirius asked from the doorway.

Remus and Tonks jumped apart, the two of them blushing furiously. Remus stood up, feeling woozy as he grabbed hold of the chair. Kisses with Lily had been passionate, fueled by alcohol. These kisses were passionate, yes, but fueled by something else entirely. He glanced over at Tonks who was grinning at him.

"Never snogged before, Rem?"

He chuckled slightly, feeling a bit better. If she was able to talk about kissing him without being embarrassed, which was a good sign wasn't it?

"I think I'm going to go have a firewhiskey, anyone else?" Sirius and Tonks nodded in agreement, so Remus poured three shots.

"I think this deserves a toast," Sirius announced as he raised his glass, "To Tonks and Remus."

Remus flushed, "What- no. To Neville Longbottom, future Triwizard Champion."

"Remus and Tonks."

"Remus and Tonks."

Lupin stared over the rim of the glass as Tonks and Sirius spoke. His eyes narrowed as he raised the glass to his lips.

"Neville."

He knocked back the shot and closed his eyes as the liquid burned down his throat all the way to his stomach. Tonks was looking at him curiously.

"Why didn't you toast to us?"

"We snogged, Tonks. That's it."

Sirius made a cutting throat motion with his hand as Tonks' hair turned a bright red.

"Next time you want to _just snog_, Remus, call up your friend Lily. You obviously don't know what it's like to kiss someone and _mean _it."

"I…" he trailed off as she stormed out of the house and was gone.

"Nice one, mate," Sirius grinned at him, "She reminded me of Mary after you snogged her when you broke up with her."

"Different, Mary and I were kids. I had a crush on her, we dated for a year. Snogged when we broke up, she hated me afterwards. Said I shouldn't have snogged her if I didn't love her."

"You love my cousin, don't you?"

"Er," Remus set his glass down, "Well, it wouldn't matter if I did. I've already pissed her off."

"You definitely haven't changed your way of operating around women. You break their hearts."

"Says you, may I remind you of Marlene McKinnon?"

"Sod off," Sirius groused.


	17. Chapter 17

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

"Dragons. The boy is up against dragons, Sirius!" Remus and Sirius had just had a discussion through the fire with Neville. "We didn't even get to tell him what to do, he could be killed! What is Dumbledore thinking?!"

"Moony," Sirius put his hands on his friend's shoulders, trying to calm him down, "Dumbledore has no control over this; it was a magically binding contract, putting a name in th-"

"But he didn't put his name in!" Remus cried in frustration.

"I know mate, but he's stuck. Anyways, he's got Hermione and Harry-"

"And Ron Weasley, unfriending him?! I should have a word with Molly, she'd be mortified, Neville's got no one but his friends."

"And you," Sirius muttered. He was right; Neville had begun to write Remus after his third year of school, confiding in him like an uncle. Remus had been good friends with Frank and Alice, and had seen Neville as a baby. He felt like Neville was now in the same position as he had been all his life. Everyone hated him because they thought he had put his name in, when that wasn't the case. Remus knew he couldn't write how to defeat the dragon in a letter to him, it wasn't allowed. He hoped fervently that Hermione and Harry would be able to come up with something.

"You're also just getting worked up because it's the week before the moon and because of what happened with To-."

"Don't say her name," Remus snarled. He and Tonks had gotten in a screaming row over the weekend. She wanted to be in a relationship, he did not. Yet with each row (there were many) he found himself falling deeper in love with her.

"Moony, you're arse over elbow for her."

He made a dismissive noise in his throat, "Too dangerous, and way too old."

"Why's that?"

"I'm going to be thirty five, Sirius! She's twenty two! When she was seven, SEVEN mind, Harry was born!"

"Age is just a number, I've said it once and I'll say it again."

"Yeah, I remember that one when you slept with that middle-aged witch when you were seventeen. The one you met at the Three Broomsticks."

Sirius' eyes misted over as he thought of that night, "Yes, Astrid. She was beautiful. Well skilled beyond my years."

Remus made a face and choked on his tea, "Alright Pads, I don't need to hear anymore."

* * *

Remus was happy to find out that Neville tied in first place with Viktor Krum in his battle against the dragon, using a Conjunctivitis Curse, which was exactly what Sirius and Remus were going to suggest.

Lupin woke up on Christmas Morning to an owl with a package at the window. He opened his window and watched as the barn owl dropped the paper wrapped package on his bed with a letter before flying away. He opened the letter first.

_Remus,_

_I know we haven't spoken since our last row, and it's my fault. I tossed your letters in the bin without even reading them. Until your most recent one. You should have seen the look on my face when I read that you loved me, you would have laughed. I love you too, Remus John Lupin, and I wish I could have spent today with you. However, Kingsley's got my nose to the grinder working, and I'm going on a mission this weekend (can't tell you though, classified). I hope this gift comes in handy and I hope I picked out the right color._

_I'll be thinking of you on the full moon. Then again, when do I ever stop thinking of you?_

_All my love,_

_Nymphadora_

The faint smell of her perfume floated up from the parchment and a grin spread across his face. She loved him too. Like a boy, he jumped onto his bed and grabbed the present. Tearing through the parchment he found a brand new grey cardigan and a bar of Honeyduke's Finest Chocolate. Bringing the cardigan up to his nose, he found that it also smelled of her perfume; a scent synonymous with her. Fruity and warm. He collapsed back onto his bed, holding the cardigan in his arms.

Sirius barged into the room and looked at his best friend who was lying on his bed with a cardigan practically up his nostrils. "Er… Sorry to interrupt." Remus opened his eyes and grinned at his friend before reaching under his bed and lobbing a present at Sirius.

Sirius tossed one back at him and for a second there was only the sound of crunched wrapping paper.

"Ah, Sirius," Remus starred down at the button up shirt and … relationship advice book.

"You two act so dysfunctional around each other, thought you could give it a read, sort things out."

Remus was grinning at his friend's cheek, "You'll be pleased to know that we have sorted things out. But I'll keep it if I ever need it. Thanks for the shirt; it's better than the ruined one."

Sirius looked down at the gift Remus had gotten for him, Remus explained, "It's enchanted parchment, it was a tricky bit of spellwork, but try it."

Sirius looked at him curiously before sitting at Remus' desk, dipping a quill into a nearby pot of ink.

_ Hello_ Sirius wrote hesitantly, as if the paper would bite his hand off.

_Pads, you're looking rough. _The reply came back in a brilliant green ink, Remus smiled. He had tested it several times, but he always worried that it wouldn't work when he needed it to most.

_Prongsie?! _

_Yep, here I am. _

Sirius looked up at Remus with a smile that Remus had not seen for years, "How'd you do it?"

"Well, that's obviously not the real James that you are talking to but I uh. Took a leaf out of Voldemort's book. His journal could talk back. Obviously, it's not dark magic. It involved a cha-."

Sirius leapt up and wrapped him in a bear hug, "Thank you so much, Moony."

* * *

All throughout dinner, Sirius was scribbling on the parchment and laughing. A part of Remus felt jealous, but then again, Sirius and James had always been the closest out of the four of them. Sometimes, Remus felt as though he hadn't belonged in the Marauders. As Sirius wrote on the paper, Remus wished he had died instead of James. Would they have written on a paper to him, or would they have forgotten him?


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

Remus woke on a chilly late February day to someone knocking on the door to his bedroom. With a groan, he pulled the sheets over his face, thinking it was Sirius.

"Shove off, Pads, I'm sleeping."

"I'm afraid, Remus, the matter which I want to speak with you about requires urgent attention." Lupin was fully awake at the Headmaster's voice, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Er… Sorry Albus, I thought you were Sirius…" _Obviously you thought it was Sirius, he's the greatest wizard of our time and you're treating him like a moron_. "Come in."

Lupin sat up and ran a hand through his messy hair that was tousled from sleep. He pulled up the waistband of his boxers just as Albus Dumbledore walked in.

"Sirius wasn't expecting me either, he was eating what looked like a giant chocolate Father Christmas."

"That's mine from Lily, what a-," Lupin caught himself, "Ah well. He's really getting agitated about being cooped up in this house, Dumbledore."

"Yes, I understand his anger over it, and the fact that he has to stay in this particular house. However, Kingsley is desperately working on finding Pettigrew. But his mission assigned from the Ministry is to find Sirius. I'm afraid it's getting a bit stressful on Kingsley, but I'm sure he'll be fine. As such, Sirius simply cannot leave the house when the Ministry has the entire country looking for him."

Remus nodded in agreement, he hadn't expected any news on that front from Dumbledore. Until Pettigrew was found, Sirius would have to stay in the house and there was nothing that anyone could do about it.

"He showed me that parchment you gave him for Christmas. It was quite thoughtful of you, and extraordinary magic. Does Lily know of it?"

Lupin looked down at his scarred hands, his eyes tracing the small white lines that he typically acquired from branches and twigs when he transformed in the woods.

"No, I thought since she had the portrait of James to talk to, she wouldn't be particularly bothered about a scrap of parchment. Sirius didn't get anything."

"And what about you?"

Lupin shrugged, his own insecurities rising to the surface of his mind: _I don't know Albus. I don't think James would appreciate getting me as opposed to Sirius. He'd rather talk to his best friend._

"I've got other things to pay attention to."

"Like Nymphadora Tonks?" Remus must have looked mortified because the old man chuckled, "One hears things. She's been asking Molly Weasley for love advice; I hear that you can be very mercurial."

"I…" Remus cleared his throat, feeling flustered.

"Now that I've got you squirming," Dumbledore smiled, "I might as well discuss the matter that brought me here in the first place."

Remus looked at him curiously, glad the subject was changed, "Go on."

"Tomorrow is the day of the second task, and I want you to be involved. What I am going to do is put you along with three other people under the Black Lake. The champion will have to rescue each person. You won't be in any danger, Remus, the merpeople understand exactly what is to be going on and they'll make sure that no creatures eat you or anything."

"I don't understand Albus, why me?"

"Well, Remus, perhaps you haven't realized, but you are the closest thing to family that Neville Longbottom has."

"Me?" Remus asked incredulously.

"Yes," Dumbledore replied seriously, "He looks up to you. You answer his letters, you care about him. You had him over during his first summer away from Hogwarts. You gave him pictures of his parents, you are the one thing on Earth that he cannot imagine losing."

Remus was at a loss for words, he had never known that Neville cared about him that much. Y_ou are the last person that he could call family._

"Right, so he has to retrieve me from under the Lake? You know I don't particularly care for water, Albus."

"I'll have Severus brew a Calming Draught."

"I'll not have anything that Snape makes, thanks," Remus said swiftly.

"Come now, Remus-."

"No, Albus. I don't trust him, you might, but I don't. Lily is going to end up wishing she hadn't trusted him either, I can feel it."

Dumbledore shrugged, "That is your own personal opinion Remus. If Severus has not proved his trustworthiness with you, I'm not going to argue with you about him whilst you are in your underwear. Get dressed and I'll meet you downstairs."

Remus got out of bed once Dumbledore had closed the door. He opened his drawers and looked at his selection of clothes, unsure of what to pick. _You're going to be under a lake… But Dumbledore'll make sure that nothing is ruined. Might as well dress for comfort. _He pulled on a pair of black trousers and a blue polo shirt before putting on the cardigan Tonks had gotten him for Christmas, it calmed his nerves.

He palmed his wand and shoved it in his pocket before taking the steps two at a time until he reached the foyer. Lily was talking animatedly with Dumbledore.

"Lily," Remus said warmly, "I didn't know that you were here, you should have woken me up."

"No, I know how much you need your sleep, or else you get grumpy. I hear you're about to go for a dip in the Black Lake? Mind the squid."

Remus chuckled as Sirius handed him a piece of toast, "Thanks mate."

Dumbledore pulled out his pocket watch and glanced at the time, "I'm afraid we must be off. I've got a meeting with the Minister of Magic this evening that I need to prepare for."

* * *

Remus stood in Dumbledore's office, staring down Severus Snape who held a goblet in his hand.

"Come now Remus," Dumbledore said jovially, "Take the potion and then I'll cast the charm. That way, Ms. Granger, Ms. Delacour, and Ms. Chang here can see that there is nothing to be afraid of."

Lupin pushed his hand through his hair before taking the goblet proffered to him by Snape.

"This is a Calming Draught, isn't it?"

He heard Hermione giggle behind him.

"Yes, Lupin, it is. Unless you think you are better at potions than me, in which case you can make your own," Snape drawled.

Remus fixed him once more with a suspicious stare before drinking the potion. Almost instantly, his body relaxed. The goblet slipped through his fingers and landed on the floor. Remus' eyes hazed over slightly and his words were slurred.

"That is very nice, tastes like chocolate."

"That might have been a bit strong, Severus," Dumbledore said sharply.

"You said you needed him to be calm, Headmaster, I was merely following orders." Snape spoke with a gleeful tone that none of the students had ever heard before.

"You've intoxicated him, Severus."

Remus was standing unbalanced on his feet, swaying slightly. Hermione stepped forward to hold him steady.

"Professor Lupin?"

"Aaaaaaaaaaah, hey Herrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmione," Lupin dragged out her name languorously; she burst into a fit of giggles.

With a sigh, Dumbledore raised his wand and Remus fell forward onto the ground, fast asleep. The Headmaster clapped his hands before turning onto the girls, "See? Nothing to be afraid of."

* * *

Remus' brown eyes opened wide as he inhaled a huge lungful of air, freezing cold. He was in the water, Neville was supporting him and a young blonde haired girl. Hands pulled him out of the water and he was wrapped in a warm woolen blanket and a loving embrace.

"D-d-dora?" His teeth chattered as he pulled the blanket closer around himself. His… _girlfriend? _was seated in front of him, holding him in her arms.

"You silly man, why did you agree to this? You'll catch your death with how cold it is."

"Dora," he nestled his head in the crook of her neck, "Why are you here? Not that I'm not happy because I'm extremely happy to see you."

"Albus sent word that you'd need warming up," she smiled at him before standing to get him a cup of hot tea.

"Professor Lupin," Neville was shivering as he spoke to him, "I'm sorry that they involved you, and no-one came to get the girl so I couldn't leave her which meant that you were under longer than you should have been and-."

"No," Remus said firmly, "I'm glad you saved me, Neville. Thank you. You did the right thing waiting, you might get awarded a few more points. How'd you do it?"

"Gillyweed," Neville's voice dropped to a whisper, "Dobby got it for me."

"Gillyweed? Where on Earth would he have found that?"

"That's what I'm afraid of," Neville muttered darkly but their attention was drawn to the judges, who were announcing the scores.

The crowd cheered as Neville won second place, he turned to Remus.

"I don't understand? I came up last!" He shouted over the crowd.

Remus shrugged with a grin, "Moral fibre, Neville."

The crowd was drowned out as Tonks came up and kissed him softly and quickly. No one in the crowd noticed their shared kiss; except perhaps Albus Dumbledore, whose blue eyes were twinkling.

As the crowd made their way into the castle, Tonks slipped her hand in Remus' and he felt instantly warm, like he was sitting before a crackling fire.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Life got pretty hectic but I haven't forgotten about this story! Sorry about the delayed update.**

**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen**

"Remus!" Sirius' shout was filled with desperation and fear, "Remus, Dumbledore needs us at Hogwarts now! Neville's fought Voldemort!"

Lupin scrambled down the stairs, tripping over the last two and flying into the portrait of Mrs. Black and pulling the curtain back. He lay dazed on the floor as it screamed.

"**_HALFBLOOD CREATURE BESMERCHING THE HOUSE OF MY ANCESTORS WITH MY GOOD FOR NOTHING SON WHO DESTROYS THE VERY NAME OF BLACK-!"_**

"SHUT UP!" Sirius yanked the curtain closed and pulled Remus to his feet, "Dumbledore sounded panicked, we need to leave now."

Sirius grabbed him by the arm and the lurching feeling of side-long apparation gripped his stomach like he was on a roller coaster. Letting out a shuddering breath, he opened his eyes and found himself in the Hog's Head with Sirius, who had turned into Snuffles for the time being. Aberforth gripped Remus' shoulder to steady him.

"You boys need to get up there now; I've never heard my brother so… emotional."

Remus nodded and ran out the door, Sirius at his heels. By the time they reached the maze, Lupin was panting. Luckily, the crowd was still there, and there was Neville – crying on top of someone?

Dumbledore walked quickly up to them, his eyes looking wild – the typical calm look one would see in them was gone. "Cedric Diggory's dead, Voldemort killed him. We need all the information but Neville is in a right state -."

"Well, he would be wouldn't he Albus," Remus' tone was sharp, "He just saw the man who killed his parents kill again. A classmate, someone probably close to him, or at least someone he talked to."

"I know, but Remus, Voldemort is back! The sooner we find out all the information, the better. Think of all the lives we can save by setting out a task force now, we could catch them when they don't expect it."

"He's just a boy," Remus snarled, aggravated that Dumbledore didn't understand the problem. "He just saw someone die! He shouldn't have to relive that moments after it happened, Albus. He needs to be with people who care about him and he needs to rest." Lupin's brown eyes glanced over Dumbledore's shoulder, his voice lowered. "Albus, where'd he go? Where'd Neville go?"

Dumbledore whirled around, "Moody, Moody's taken him. Merlin." Remus raced after the Headmaster, Sirius was barking, and Amos Diggory was howling at the sky in grief.

* * *

Remus sat next to Neville's bed in the Hospital Wing. Molly Weasley and her children were there, as well as Harry and Hermione. Lupin tried to relax in his seat but couldn't, somewhere, Dumbledore was having a row with Cornelius Fudge; in fact, someone was having a row outside of the Hospital Wing.

Remus stood, his eyes narrowed. Molly looked concernedly at the doors and made a disapproving sound, "Really, they'll wake him up."

The doors swung open, Cornelius Fudge stormed down the rows of beds to them, white faced and tight lipped. Dumbledore followed closely after him. Neville stirred in his bed, looking confusedly at the people around him. Snuffles rested across his lap and was methodically licking his hand.

"Your winnings," Fudge said gruffly and tossed a canvas bag onto Neville's bed, it landed on the mattress with a thump. Sirius growled at the Minister, who gave him a look.

"You ought not to have a dog in here, Dumbledore, it's disgusting."

"And you ought to listen to reason, Cornelius, instead of concerning yourself over petty things such as a boy's dog in the Hospital Wing! Voldemort is back Cornelius, and he didn't just get a body so that he could drink and eat! He is going to kill people, it will be even worse than before. How are you going to explain mass murders, Cornelius-?"

"STOP!" Fudge roared, flecks of spit flying out of his mouth. He took several deep breaths, "I have a meeting to attend at the Ministry, Albus. If you think this boy's story is true-."

"I know that it is true, and if you hadn't had the Dementor's kiss Barty Crouch Junior, you would know it to be true as well."

Fudge rolled his eyes but continued as if he hadn't heard Dumbledore, "Then you may come along and testify for the boy."

"Good, I intend to." Dumbledore said as he watched Fudge exit the room. Once the door shut, he turned to Lupin.

"The Order needs to start up again, Remus. The old crowd needs to come back. Things are definitely going to be more difficult now that Fudge is against us. Sirius-."

The dog leapt off of the bed and in the blink of an eye, Sirius Black was standing in the Hogwarts Hospital Wing.

"It's Sirius Black!" Molly Weasley screamed, grabbing her nearest child and pushing them behind her.

"Molly," Remus and Dumbledore said in unison. "Molly," Remus continued, hoping he sounded reassuring enough, "Sirius is innocent. Would I be standing here, perfectly calm, if the man who betrayed James was standing before me?"

Molly shook her head, "No of course not, I'm sorry I'm being silly." She still eyed Sirius with apprehension.

"Sirius, you need to lie low at Lupin's. I'll let you know when we decide on Headquarters."

"Use my place," Sirius said, "I can't stand it. Not to mention it would make my mother absolutely livid to have her family home _desecrated _by people who are fighting for good."

Dumbledore nodded, before looking at Neville. His voice softened slightly, "Neville, Madame Pomfrey is going to give you a potion to help you sleep. What happened tonight should never have happened to you. But I promise you that I am going to be working as hard as I can to stop Voldemort, and you are not alone."

* * *

With that, Dumbledore left. Remus glanced at Sirius, "We should probably go," he whispered. Madame Pomfrey had sent Ron, Hermione, and Harry away. The only people remaining were Neville and Molly Weasley.

Remus walked up to Neville's side and placed his hand on his shoulder. "If you need to talk Neville, you know where to find me. I promise I will get you away from the Muggles as soon as possible." He ruffled the boy's hair and swallowed slightly. Neville had begun to cry, and it pained Remus. He couldn't stand the amount of agony that the boy had had to go through.

Molly pulled Neville into a tight hug, whispering soothingly into his ear. Remus staggered out of the Hospital Wing. Sirius followed after him. Remus broke down, letting out a sob. But Sirius was right there to hold him, like he had done before.

"It's okay, Remus. It's alright."

"It's not. I-it's not okay," Remus said between sobs, "everyone we love has died, Sirius! How can I let myself love Tonks if I know she'll die? How can we just go on with our lives when Neville is going through so much? What would life be like if this had all happened to Harry?"

Sirius didn't respond, but rubbed Lupin's back as he hiccupped. Sirius had seen Remus Lupin cry only once before in his life. It was after a full moon, and Remus had broken both of his legs. Sirius had held him then as he was now, and had been the one to carry him up to the castle. Remus was as broken now as he had been then.

It took several minutes of coaxing from Sirius before Remus was ready to leave the castle. Once inside the Hog's Head, Sirius ordered him a Firewhiskey to go. Remus wiped the tears from his cheeks as best he could, his eyes red rimmed. When they arrived at the run down cottage where the entire ordeal had begun; Remus collapsed on the same bed that Lily and her infant son had so many years ago.

Sirius Black sat down in the rickety rocking chair beside the bed, lost in thought. He glanced over at Remus and wondered if the two of them would make it out of the oncoming storm alive. He sent a desperate thought to whatever god was listening that he would be the one to die if it came to that, and that Remus would finally have a chance at happiness.


End file.
